Beneath

27 THE FINAL STRAW

C A M I L A

Midterms. On a Sunday. And it's freezing.

The campus is quieter than usual, a mix of old limestone buildings and new glass towers. Dead leaves crunch underfoot, mixing with a fresh layer of snow. This air promises a cold snap soon. It's almost a week into November.

Maddie's walking as fast as her short legs can carry her. She's got coffee in one hand, clothed in a creamy white sweater and a blue beanie on her blonde hair.

My roommate of three years and counting has been acting like everything's fine. But the more I think about it, the more I think something permanently broke.

The stone walkways are nearly empty, students tucked away in the library or their dorms, cramming for their exams.

"I know I've screwed up a lot recently," Maddie blurts. I halt and turn. Her expression is grave. "I don't expect you to forgive me just because I'm apologizing again. But I want to show you something."

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a package wrapped in bright pink paper, handing it to me.

"What's this?" I ask, taking it from her. It's kind of heavy.

"Just open it."

I carefully unwrap the package, revealing a beautifully bound, faux-leather journal. The cover is a deep, rich blue, with intricate gold detailing. I open it to the first page and see Maddie's handwriting.

For Camila,
my best friend always,
and for all the memories I hope we can make in the future.

"I know it's not enough. But I thought maybe you could use it to track, like, your workouts and stuff."

I open the journal again, flipping through the first few pages. Each one has a little printed picture of Maddie and me, or just me, doing stupid stuff in first year.

Me climbing the side of our first apartment building after we locked ourselves out. Shoving our faces with sushi at a food court. Me wearing my bra on the outside of my shirt in a changing room.

Tears prick at my eyes as I trace the edge of the photo with my finger. "Thank you."

"I'm a selfish person. It's all my dad ever says, okay? I know it's true. I haven't been the friend you deserve. I want to change that, Cam. I want to be better."

I look at her. "But you don't trust me anymore."

She shakes her head, swallowing hard. "I do. I do trust you. I got caught up in my own insecurities. The boys made me realize I've taken you for granted. I don't expect things to go back to the way they were overnight. I just want to...be better, I guess."

I flip through more pages of the journal. It's clear how much effort she put into this. It tugs at my heart.

Maddie takes a deep breath. "I won't let you down ever again."

I can't answer her, so I hold the notebook to my chest and keep walking with her. Soon we're at her next exam. She runs up the steps, turning to wave back at me with a smile.

But something still hurts inside me.

I wish it'd go away.

.....

Fire Base is as predictable as ever.

So I step up and change things.

I take over Jess's spin class, all fake excitement and pump-ups as I guide the cyclers through the workout. I want to keep Jess around. She doesn't have to leave. This will be a safe space for her. I'll make sure of it.