Beneath

33 THE CALM BEFORE

C A M I L A

I wish I didn't know where Noah and Fox are right now.

I also wish I wasn't grateful. But god, I am.

Our rental looks the same as always, a little sad, a little rundown, like it's trying its best but falling short.

As I push through the front doors, my heart is fluttering like a baby bird. I'm running off the fumes of my fourth energy drink of the day. That's exactly four times the daily limit, or so says Kick Inc. It buzzes through my veins like a mosquito I can't swat away. It's better than the slow, languid beat of nothingness, though.

Laughter spills out from the living room, and it grates against my nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

Maddie and Liz are sprawled on the couch, both of them giggling over something ridiculous on TV. The sight of them makes my skin crawl. They look so... blonde. The news is on. A reporter chatting to another one about snow, wind and sleet coming. As if I care.

I drop my bag by the door with a thud.

Maddie glances over, her smile fading when she sees me. "Hey, Cam. Are you okay?"

Liz looks up with a laugh. "What's the problem, Cammie? Rhinoplasty appointment get cancelled?"

I turn to Maddie. She blinks at me with those big blue eyes, opens her mouth—

Nothing comes out.

Anger rises in my throat like bile. "Hi, Liz. Nice to see you. Also, who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Oh, poor Cammie. Always the victim, huh? Always the one who has it the hardest."

"Get out. Get out, Liz. I'm so serious right now. Cam has done nothing to you."

And this time, it actually was Maddie's voice.

Liz gasps in shock, grabbing her pink coat from the back of the chair. "I'm so over this life! I seriously can't handle this kind of negativity." She gears up for the blast of cold and heads for the door.

I stare at the door like it might open again, like she might come back and spit in my face.

"Cam... wanna watch a movie with me?"

Too late. It hurts, and it hurts, and it's too late.

I grab my coat. "Going to the library."

"Can I come with—"

"No."

I head back out into the cold, needing the bite of the wind on my face to remind me that I'm still here, still alive, even if it doesn't feel like it.

.....

But the time I walk up the last flight of stairs with a fifth can of Kick in my hand, my cheeks are flushed and my eyelids are heavy. Sometimes when I drink too much caffeine, I feel like I could sleep for days.

Hell, maybe my heart's about to stop. That'd be funny, huh?

I settle cross-legged in a small corner on the dusty carpet away from all the books, empty tables, and windows. I've always liked corners.

It's hours before I see another human being.

A Fox-shaped shadow falls over my lap.

He's in a bright green Henley and a backwards baseball cap—and he's busted the fuck up. His left eye is swollen shut, all kinds of colours, and his lip is split.

"We meet here again, Sport."

I bite down all my apologies. I knew they'd go to mess with Dylan, and I didn't stop them. I didn't even want to.