39. WHISPERS OF MEMORIES

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-Memories destroy us

___________________________

Avya

He thinks I didn't notice him.
With a frown on his brow and tired eyes,
He sat on the settee outside,
He watched her, the only person he cared for more than anything in this world-
His mother.

While I silently worked, I couldn't help
But steal a glance at him, only when he wasn't looking,
Only then did I dare let my eyes roam astray.

There, I did not see the devil I thought he always was.
I did not see the psychopath, who likes to control everything.
He wasn't the same rude, conniving man I took him for.

There, I saw a man who loved his mother,
For he wouldn't miss a single night without sitting outside her room.
That's when I often wondered what made him who he was today-
What robbed that innocence and replaced it with a mask.
I wished I could stare into those beautiful blue-grey eyes
And unfold all the secrets,
To see them and understand them.
But I couldn't,
Because he thinks I didn't notice him, and that'll stay the same.
But deep down, I knew I did,
Noticed him, because how can one not?

___________________________

That's it. I have gone crazy.

I stare back at the words I have written. Journaling used to be a habit back in time; often, when I was confused about my emotions, I'd jot them down on a piece of paper.

But this... I held the paper in my hands. This was a disaster.

I don't know what I was thinking, or not thinking, when I wrote it last night, but it definitely didn't sound appropriate to my ears now.

If I knew any better, my words sounded treacherous to my own thoughts.

Avya, we hate that man, remember, so don't go fucking poetic about him

I crumpled the piece of paper and shoved it into the pen holder.

Sighing, I got up to visit Mythila's room. It was early morning, and after spending most of the night working there, I left around dawn.

Hridhaan was gone before I stepped out of the room too; it had become a routine now.

After getting freshened up, I chose to wear a red kurti today. I even washed my hair. Not for any special reason, just that I was feeling unusually happy.

It'll be almost a month, next week, since I started staying in this house. It was hard to admit, but this place felt less depressing, at least better than the dark memories I had of my parents' house.

Closing the door to that room of thoughts, I turned the knob to Mythila's door, only to be greeted by a cheerful Mythila herself.

"Hello, Avya, you look lovely today," she said, her voice always warm and welcoming.

It felt nice to be appreciated. It had been ages since I felt this cheerful.

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