Until I'm worthy

Chapter 1

Regina hates Janis. This is one of the laws of the universe, as far as anyone at North Shore is concerned. The sky is blue, grass is green, and Regina hates Janis.

She's a fucking freak with weird ass makeup and dumb grungy clothes and -

And and and

Regina could go on about Janis. Has talked about her in her crusade to make sure she stays at the bottom of the totem pole. She's not sure how she was ever friends with her, honestly. (She ignores the part of her that's still stuck in middle school, stuck in afternoons under the tree in Janis' yard watching her learn to embroider and kissingher fingers when she inevitably pricked herself.)

That's besides the point. Regina hates Janis. However, she can't help but be impressed as Janis admits to trying to ruin her life. There's a twitch of her lips that she can't quite stop, the slightest trend toward a smile as she watches Janis air out her plan. She gets a hold of it, twists it into an unimpressed glare. But the slight smile. It was barely anything, barely a slip but Regina knows Janis caught it. Her eyes flash as she climbs down from the podium. She sneers at Regina, flips her off and ignores the expression that says, "See? We aren't so different. You are the same as me, mean like me."

She hadn't known Janis had it in her, to be cruel like this. To be cruel like Regina . (In the part of her that she's spent years repressing, she finds the vindictive behavior kind of hot. The spark of interest she usually feels around Aaron or Shane coming to life. She imagines the haughty sneers that have been aimed her way throughout the years and the spark swirls further into a flame. She crushes the thoughts, grinds them to dust beneath her Louboutin heels.)

(The thoughts refuse to disappear, though. She imagines pushing and prodding Janis into an argument, the way any venom spit from Janis' lips would feel sweeter than a compliment from Aaron ever did. She thinks of digging in, of teeth and heat and anger, and the vicious freedom that would come from their mutual destruction.)

Janis stalks past her, and it takes everything in Regina to stop herself from leaning in and snapping her teeth at Janis just to see if she'll still flinch. She's supposed to be the victim here, so she just watches Janis, playing with her necklace in one hand while digging her nails into her side with the other, keeping herself under control.

Afterwards, Cady comes to find her, because of course she does. The girl never knows when to let things go.

She's woman enough to admit that Cady's betrayal hurts. It had been unexpected. Cady is so nice , pure and naïve and a slew of things Regina is not. Cady's apology only makes Regina angrier. The ease that she's able to say those words with, how little Cady has to fight herself as she tries to make amends. Apologies have never come easy to Regina. They've disappeared entirely with her rise to the top of the school food chain.

The argument with Cady stops Regina from thinking about Janis 'Imi'ike and her mean streak. And then she can't think about much of anything, all her problems pushed to the side, just like her body by the bus.

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She wakes in the hospital. If you can call half-consciousness being awake. The world around her is fuzzy and too bright and loud. It's easier to turn back to the darkness. Each time she regains consciousness, the world becomes clearer. The brightness of the hospital lights make it hard for her eyes to focus, and the haze of drugs from her IV makes her unsure of what is real.

One time when she wakes up, there's a stranger in her room. Usually, the only person there is her mother, who's almost constantly at her side when Regina is awake. Regina's pretty sure she livestreams her visits, not that Regina is cognizant enough to care. Anyways - getting her brain on track is so hard now - there's a stranger here. Not a nurse, as whoever it is isn't wearing scrubs. Dark hair and equally dark clothing, they remind Regina of someone.