Until I'm worthy

Chapter 2

Regina invited Gretchen and Karen over once she's out of the hospital. They're her closest friends - or they would be if Regina had friends - so it makes the most sense to start her amend-making with them.

They actually agree to come over without Regina having to threaten or insult them, which is nice. It would have been weird to start the whole apology thing with a threat, but Regina has always been willing to do what she has to.

She waits for them to arrive, sitting at her kitchen table. It's the best place to wait, she's checked. With the whole being on crutches thing, sitting on the couch would mean taking a small eternity to reach the front door. Coming from the kitchen takes just long enough for the people waiting outside to get a little antsy without making Regina seem like she's been waiting for them to get here.

Her calm exterior has always relied on Regina knowing what works, having the perfect response to everything. Take too long for a comeback and you lose your chance and a bit of standing. Take too long to open the door, especially on crutches, and people will think you're weak. It's a mind game. Regina is good at mind games.

The doorbell rings and Regina feels herself straighten. The anxiety she's been feeling gets pushed to the side, her usual haughty expression sliding into place like a well worn glove. She makes her way to the door and pulls it open. Gretchen and Karen stand huddled together on her doorstep, and seeing them feels weird for some reason. Regina's not used to feeling unsettled when Gretchen and Karen are around. It has her on the defensive. Remember, be real Regina, not a bitch.

"Let's go upstairs," she commands, already falling back to full plastic. It's the exact opposite of how she wants to start this whole thing, but it's too late now.

They follow her meekly up the stairs, not rushing ahead of her even though Regina knows she's taking for-fucking-ever to make it up. The crutches she has to rely on for the foreseeable future make going anywhere slower than she's used to.

When they finally make it up to her room, Regina stays standing as her hopefully to-be friends perch on her bed.

"I'm," Regina clenches her jaw. She's uncomfortable, is what she is. Why can't everyone just feel that she's sorry and start being her friend? Why does she have to talk to them and apologize and work at it? Regina is very used to everything going her way. She goes to great lengths to make sure it does. The fact that this could blow up in her face has her nervous.

She can't exactly pace - stupid crutches. She does her best anyways, the uneven beat of her movements the only sound in her room.

Gretchen and Karen watch her from their spots on her bed. They don't try to rush her or prompt her into continuing. They're too well trained for that. (The thought makes her wince.)

Get it over with, she thinks. Regina George isn't a coward.

"I'm sorry, okay? I treated you both like shit even though you guys were like my fucking friends or whatever."

"It's okay, Regina," Karen says. She says it with such ease, accepting the apology without thought. Regina knows she means it. Sweet, sweet Karen, whose heart is way too big for Regina to deserve.

Gretchen looks less convinced, but she's not cursing Regina out, so that's probably a good sign. Could be because she's still scared of Regina, but she's choosing to see the bright side.

"It's not okay, actually," Regina responds. "It should've never been okay for me to treat you guys like I did. I was a bad friend, and I'm going to try to be better. I want to be your friend for real this time."

She directs the final part of the statement to Gretchen, looking steadily into her eyes. She knows Gretchen pretty much worships the ground she walks on, that her behavior impacted her the most.