The Difficulties of Loving YOU.

The end of us.

Zach,
When I was in 6th grade and you were in 7th, you asked me to kiss you again. I said no because I didn't want to. I said no because I was scared. A few weeks later at a football game I told you that I thought we should break up. You were upset, I could tell. You tried to convince me to change my mind, but I was stubborn then, as I am now. You told me to think about it. But I already had. And I had already made up my mind. "Well I need to go." I told you, because this conversation was getting awkward for me and I felt guilty for hurting your feelings. "Well, do I at least get a goodbye hug?" You asked sadly, with watering eyes. I gave you a quick hug and you, once again told me to think about it. I left quickly.

We had one class together that year. It was a creative learning class. And every other day you would walk me to my class. After I mentioned breaking up, on the days you walked me to my next class you would ask if I thought about it and ever time I would say, "I still think we should break up." And you would tell me to think some more and walk away as fast as you could. After about a week, when you were walking me to class you said you thought we should break up, as if it had been your idea all along. I was relieved but at the same time a little upset. If it was my idea, it was wrong. If it was yours, it was genius. Little did I know that it would happen again. Worse than at this time.

After we were officially broken up I found myself missing you. It sounds silly, I know. We were in middle school. How could I miss you? But I did. And so I found myself talking to Chase and Rich more often, asking them about you. But they never talked to me much. One day I asked why. That was the day that I learned that you had made all the boys in your neighborhood sign a treaty saying that none of them could date me. Apparently they took that as they couldn't talk to me as well. And I was mad. I was mad at your immaturity. We were broken up. But now it was affecting the few friends that I had. And I was mad that you had some control on my life. I was mad that I was mad at you.