The Difficulties of Loving YOU.

Her with you.

Zach,
When you were 12 and I was 11, your brother, Sam, was born. He was just the cutest baby ever. You changed then. You weren't the same as before and I was grateful in a way. "Of course you break up with him before he is nice." My sister always said. But she was right. When your brother was born it was like something clicked. You were kinder, more understanding, gentler, sweeter, but I wouldn't get to enjoy it much.

That was when you started dating Rebecca. She was your age, not a year younger. She had long blond hair that she always had in tight braids. She was beautiful, not awkward and young looking like me. That summer you, me, Rebecca, and my friend Delilah worked at Vacation Bible School at our church for community service hours. It was pretty fun, except you were dating her and that hurt. It hurt that you moved on. It hurt that somewhere deep down I hadn't broken the curse by breaking our relationship. I was still doomed. Doomed to watch you love someone else, and it wouldn't be the last time. After VBS we would walk downtown, the four of us, and go eat lunch. We lived in a small town in Georgia. Everyone knew everyone and everything. And everywhere was close enough to walk. On day I had to leave right after lunch, but Delilah went with you and Rebecca to the YMCA. She told me how y'all were pretty much all over each other and it hurt, because you had moved on and I hadn't. You had moved on and somewhere, somehow I still loved you, but you had moved on. I had to get over it.

Y'all dated for 2 years, from your 7th to 9th grade year. I remember how y'all ended. I remember feeling guilty, like it had been my fault. During some stupid school dance, she had danced with some guys and you didn't like it. Later you texted me and asked what to do. You told me the situation and I told you what I would do. "Just tell her how you feel. If you don't like her dancing with them then tell her. If she really likes you she will understand." I found out from Delilah. I found out that you told her and she dumped you. I was severely guilty, but you had asked me. You asked for my advice and I gave it to you, you didn't have to take it. After that Rebecca hated me. She always glared at me in the halls and to be honest, I was a little scared.