झरोखा - A window to my soul

The (un)chosen one

I looked at the two friends laughing,
the mother-daughter smiling...
I kept on watching from afar,
knowing I am never to be a
part of their bonding.

As the sadness settles and the guilt rattles,
A little dislike for them,
a ton of hate for myself develops.
Overlooked by the onlookers,
lost by the listeners...
My unseen, unheard being,
accepted it as a fate of theirs.

A side character in my own story,
a forgotten one in theirs...
My pain was always less,
and my achievements could never compare.

I'm not loved, nor am I hated,
and maybe this is what is fated...
Yet when they pick their person,
I always wait with my breath bated.

The ignorance becomes a dull ache
the loneliness now a keepsake,
The acceptance came worse than shame,
and there remained only me to blame.

Always the spare, never the choice,
taught me how to bury my own voice...
The easiest to please, the hardest to upset,
the child in me could forgive but never forget...
Be it the friends at nine,
or the mother that was mine.