When Sunflowers wither...

The note

I wasn't nervous or actually felt anything at all. The note felt cold to me but I kinda think there would be something inside which I didn't wanted to read at all. Perhapse they were even throwing me out of the school which would be for the better. If not, then I should quite for sure. I am no hero... who am I even kidding. 

Better to get this over with as fast as possible. 

Right in front of Hawks, I opened the letter and started reading it. Of course not out loud since I felt as if there would be something inside he would hate or he would try do something funny after this. He might be a hero but he was acting weird ever after he saved me. Was it just me? No,it felt as if he was either mothering me and taking this all to personal. No hero should be attached personally to any rescue case. Why was he doing this? It was unprofessional of him and it was worhtless cause I was definitely not worth all this attention nor did I asked or wanted it.

Dear Midoriya, 

I am very sorry for what have happened. Although I may not fathom the wole reasoning behind your attempt, I am still shocked that one of the students in my school would ever come to feel this way.

Nonetheless I hope you can return back to UA and have a little chat with me about the whole situation. I would love to make some changes and understand you more. 

It is a very shocking incident which had made everyone wake up.

My school seemed to be not the ideal place as I would have hoped and thought.

I am looking forward to hear your reply on this matter .

Kind regards,

Nezu.

The first letter in this envelopment was from Nezu, however there was another one. The next one looked more handwritten than the first one. After all how should Nezu be able to write with his paws after all? He certainly used the PC and a printer but he bothered doing this much for a good for nothing. I feel as if I am disappointing him and everyone else since the problem was not the school but me.

Dear Izuku,

Everyone is worried about you, the class is being annoyed and I just want and have to know what happened. You are one of my problem children and as such it is my responsibility to see things till the end. I am shocked hearing about what happened. No ever thought that you out of all the people in the school would do this.

I failed to see the problems around you and I failed to see how you truly feel. 

Your pigeon is currently prohibiting anyone to bother and see you, I hope to get your permission to come around any day and have a talk with you. Even if it is just seeing how you are doing.

Please do give me that permission.

Best Wishes,

Shota Aizawa

Me: They didn't kick me out....

That was something I shouldn't have said out oud but I did nonetheless because I forgot about it and there was this thing... I have an habit. I talk out loud while thinking about something, sometimes mumbling, sometimes it was just talking and sometimes whispering. Each time I would just start talking without me even realizing it at all. This time was no difference.

Hawks: Why should they?

Me: Why should they what?

Hawks: Kick you out?

Me: What are you talking about?

Hawks: You just said, they didn't kick me out... I just refered to that.

Me: Ohhh..

Shit...

I did it again.

I started without thinking and realizing it again.

Me: Oh I don't know... I was quite bad in class and it would be reason enough.

Hawks: Aha.... no.

Me: Okay.

Hawks: Sooooo.... what do you wanna do?

Me: Can I get out of this hell?

Hawks: You mean hospital?

Me: No, I mean life.

Hawks: No.

Me: Hahahahahaha, I was just joking.

Hawks: We both know, you are not.

Me: .....

He was right. I didn't say this out of joke but because I wanted to get the topic in another direction. Still I had to reply to these letters and I think a verbal reply would be the best to these.

Me: Can I see Aizawa and Nezu?

Hawks: If you want too.

Me: Aizawa asked for it.

Hawks: But how do you feel about it?

Me: I don't know....

Hawks: I can also be in the room just to be safe if it makes you feel better.

Me: I don't care about that.

Hawks: .... Izu.... you should try think for yourself and not what others want. I am sure they asked for this... you didn't do this out of yourself.

Me: I owe it to them.

Hawks: You owe nothing to no one.

Me: .....

I do.... with what I have done and failed.... I do.

Everyone expects me to answer them.

Everyone will try to make it better but it's not gonna be better!

I hate this.

I just want to vanish.

And you to leave me alone.