Make Him As Fluid As Water

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A/N: Reflecting on the story, do you think Ikenna's change was justifiable, or did he never truly love Arire? I understand that change is the most constant thing in life, but do you think he loved her from the beginning?
It's going to be double chapters again today. See you in the comments section, and enjoy, my loves!❤

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I perched on the kitchen counter, clutching my mug of Lipton tea, hoping it would steady my nerves. My eyes burned from a sleepless night, consumed by worries about him. The events of last night played over and over in my mind. I knew now that I wasn’t going to terminate the pregnancy, even though it was the result of rape and pain. Dr. Timothy's words echoed in my heart: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9, ESV).

Five years of barrenness, and the gift I had always prayed for had come in this disgraceful way. But who was I to question God? After all, He is the knower of all things, the maker of both the good and the bad. This child had a purpose, and it would be cruel to end its life before it began.

In an instant, everything in my life had soured and slipped beyond my control. That night was the genesis of all my misery and heartache. But why did it have to be me? I asked myself this countless times, yet I remained as blank as a canvas.

I have always believed that humans are limited in what they can control. I do not have control over my birth; I cannot dictate to God the kind of parents I want, nor can I control the day I die. I cannot simply decide to tell God I want to die at a particular year, date, or time. But I do have control over certain things, such as the choices I make and the chances I take. Whether my choices are right or wrong, they either make or break me. Hence, I have decided to keep the baby. I rubbed my belly softly, whispering, "This is a gift from my God."

Last night made me realize one thing: I had to let this child live its life, fulfill its purpose. It wasn’t a question of whether I had to keep this child; it was that I had to keep it because he or she was innocent. This is hard, very hard. A tear trickled down my cheek. But no matter how hard this was going to be, I have decided to think from the river of abundance and not from scarcity. My Lord is bountiful, and even in the bad, there is goodness.

I wiped away my tears and decided to be strong and believe that God was with me, even in the darkest of times. Somehow, I would find a way through this, for myself, for Ikenna, and for the child growing inside me.

My only request to God is for Ikenna to go on this journey with me. I don't want to lose my husband. He is my life, my testimony that God loves me. I pray silently to God to allow Ikenna to be as fluid as water, to change his perspectives and bring back the man I married. The man who would go out of his way to see me happy, the man who made me complete. Ikenna is my mini God.

When I heard the front door creak open, my heart leapt with both relief and dread. He walked in, looking disheveled, and I heard the sound of the keys as they dropped on the center table.

"Ikenna, where have you been?" I asked, my voice wavering despite my efforts to sound calm.

He moved to the sink without acknowledging me, splashing water on his face. "Out," he replied curtly, his back still to me.

A knot of anxiety tightened in my stomach. "You didn't come home last night," I pressed gently, hoping for some explanation, some reassurance.

"I needed some time alone," he said, his voice flat and distant.

I stood up, moving closer to him, hoping to bridge the growing chasm between us. "Ikenna, please talk to me. We're both going through so much. We need each other now more than ever."

He turned around, his eyes dark with guilt and something else I couldn't quite place. "Aríre, I can't do this right now. I need to clear my head."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I fought them back. "Ikenna, I love you. We can get through this together."

He sighed deeply, still avoiding my gaze. "I need to go in and sleep," he muttered, brushing past me and heading towards the room.

"God, please be merciful to me and bring my husband back," I silently prayed.


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