ARÍRE (We Have Seen Goodness)

BASTARD - ÒMÒ ÀLÉ

This chapter is dedicated to Zarah_b_Ali1 and Tabparveen Thank you for reading and always commenting❤

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After a while, Titi wiped her tears and gave me a determined look. "What do you want to do, Arire?"

"Titi, at this point, I don't know. I'm confused. Has God forsaken me, Titi?"

"Don't speak like that, Arire. God never forsakes His own. You know what? First, you need to eat something. Spicy food is good for early pregnancy. I'll make you some noodles."

"I'm not hungry, Titi. What is on the ground is far from me eating, food is the last thing on my mind."

"Will you now kill yourself, eh?" Titi asked, a smile evident at the corner of her lips.

"See, I know food is the last thing on your mind, but you look pale. You need to be strong, and to be strong, you need to eat. The body needs strength to face what the heart cannot bear, so let me make you something, Arire."

She moved into the kitchen, and I heard her bustling around, the sounds of pots and pans clattering. The smell of indomie jollof soon filled the air, surprisingly soothing my nausea. After some minutes, Titi returned with a steaming bowl of spicy noodles.

"Eat up," Titi said, handing me the bowl. "You need to take care of yourself and the baby."

I took the bowl, the heat seeping through the ceramic into my hands, grounding me in the present.I took a little bite, feeling the spiciness of the noodles on my palate. I took a sip of water to ease the spiciness, gargling the water slowly before swallowing. Each bite was a struggle but Titi's watchful eye kept me going.

When I finally headed home, I felt a little stronger, a little more resolved. I knew I had a long road ahead, but I wasn't alone. I had Titi, and somehow, even in this terrible storm, I knew in the back of my mind that I had God. And I knew, like any other phase in life that I have passed, I would find a way to get through this.

Back at home, I found Ikenna watching TV, his face void of emotion as he stubbornly stared at the screen.

"It's news at seven on Nigeria television authority (NTA).." The male broadcaster, dressed in a mint green baba riga, proclaimed on the television. I took my seat next to Ikenna and took a deep breath. "Ikenna, we need to talk," I said very softly.

I waited for some minutes, waiting for him to acknowledge me. But he didn't make any attempt.

"Boko Haram has yet again attacked another secondary school in Gartamawa community in Chibok Local Government Area of Borno State..."

The voice of the male broadcaster was the only sound in the room as he read out the news about the Boko Haram terrorists who have been terrorizing some of the northern parts of Nigeria.

"Ikenna," I called again, "we need to talk, please."

This time, he turned to me, his eyes searching mine. "What is it?" His voice was harsh and hurried.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out stupidly, my voice barely above a whisper.

That was too fast and blunt. My inner thought scolded me

His reaction was immediate. Shock, followed by something darker. "Pregnant? How... I mean, when?" He dropped the DSTV remote control on the stool beside him. In the last two months, this was the only time I had seen Ikenna completely helpless and vulnerable.

"About eight weeks," I replied, watching his face for any sign of emotion. But he just looked confused and angry.

"That's... that's not possible," he said, his voice confused. "This... This..." He paused as I watched him do the mental math in his head quickly.

"You know what this means, right? This baby is definitely not mine."

"I know," I whispered, feeling tears well up again. "But we can't change what happened. We can only move forward. Please, let's find a way to work this out."

Ikenna didn't say anything; he just stared at the TV screen as the broadcaster continued reading the news. His silence was deafening, making me feel unsupported and alone.

"Ikenna, please don't be silent. I need you to speak to me. You promised to love me, guide me, and stay by my side regardless of the situation. Where's the man who swore and vowed to stand by me? Did you ever love me?" I whispered the last part softly.

He turned his face towards me, his eyes meeting mine. His face was unreadable yet very cold and harsh.

"Love? Did you just mention love?" he yelled, prompting the black purse on my lap to fall to the floor. "You," he pointed his index finger toward me, "are the worst thing to ever happen to me."

"Ikenna, don't you-"

"Don't I what?" he interrupted me. "I'm asking you, don't I dare what? I'm still talking to you, so keep that despicable mouth of yours shut and listen to what I have to say.

"I will be thirty-eight by the end of the year, for goodness' sake, and I don't have a child of mine. Is there anybody in the house calling me 'daddy' or you 'mummy'? Answer me, ehn?" he shouted.

"Arire, go inside and call Junior out for me," he said, sarcasm heavy in his words.

"And you sit there and tell me, 'Did I love you?'" he scoffed. "I will never father that bastard in your womb." He looked at me with so much disgust that I felt like disappearing and never returning.

"Where's your conscience, Ikenna?" I whispered slowly. "Ikenna, I ask you again, where's your conscience?"

"I lost my conscience that night, woman," he responded harshly. "That horrible night was the day I lost my conscience, dammit."

I stood up, meeting his gaze. "Ikenna, do you think I wanted all of this? Do I need to remind you I was raped? I was the one who was humiliated, raped by a random man who was not my husband. Raped in the presence of men who laughed at me and mocked me as they took pleasure in watching me being humiliated."

"Stop it! Stop it!" he shouted angrily at me.

"No, you stop it, Ikenna. Stop being selfish and see that beyond all of this, at the end of the day, it was me who was raped on the cold tiled floor, not you."

"Maybe you're right, I'm selfish. But aren't we all selfish, Arire? You have the child that you've always wanted. What do I have? I ask you, what do I have? Nothing. What has the five years with you produced for me? Nothing. And you tell me that I'm selfish?"

"You have me, Ikenna."

"No, I lost you that night. That night made me feel less like a man, as I watched you being fucked," he shouted, emphasizing the word "fucked." "That was the night that I lost you, Arire."

He took his car keys and left the house, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang.

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