Why him? - XDINARY HEROES

Chapter 28 - I'm fine. I'll numb it

After that massive cleaning in Hyeongjuns house, I didn't wake up until 11:48 a.m., and I was still tired. I got up to wash my face, brush my teeth, and change my clothes.

I finished changing my clothes it was casual but they looked good. It was a white button-up shirt with black wide pants. I went to my kitchen to eat some breakfast. I looked in the cabinets and I realised I ran out of most foods that I liked so today there would be some shopping to do. But in the meantime, there was some cereal and a little bit of milk. So I ate those and then washed my dishes, put them away, and I wanted to head out, but I heard knocks, so I went to open the door. My jaw dropped. I was shocked. After all this time, she decided to show up at my front door. I didn't even wanna see her. I remembered all the bad names and times that I had been with her. I realised something. He wasn't there. Next to her. Why is she at my door right now.

"What do you want?" I asked her. My voice had an annoyed tone. "Hello my son, how have you been?" She said to me, trying to hug me. "No answer my question," I said coldly. She stepped back and took a long breath. "I came to tell you that your father died from a car crash when he was on his way to work," She said with a sad tone. I was surprised, I still loved her and him, but I didn't want to show that right now. They hurt me. They left their own son in the streets all alone. "What does that have to do with me?" I asked. "He's your father," she said, shocked at my words. "Not anymore. Not after you kicked me out, " I said madly. She looked at me with hopeless eyes. "I don't know what you want but know that I have nothing to do with you or him ever again. Ok, " I told her straightly. I was scared that she would just get mad and yell. But none of that happened. "I need you to be with me again, son. i can't live without you anymore. I didn't mean to kick you out." She said. Without thinking twice, I said what I had in my mind. "Nothing ties me and you together ever again. You killed your son. There is no Lee Jooyeon. From now on, there's only Jooyeon. Jooyeon without parents, Jooyeon, who was living like a normal person and having fun with his friends. There is no more scaredy cat Lee Jooyeon, who was scared from his parents because of his sexuality because of having friends because of failing classes. There is only Jooyeon. No past, no parents anymore. I don't ever want to see you again. You ruined me." I said madly, quietly yelling at her to not get attention from my neighbours. They might’ve still heard it, but at least I wasn't screaming my lungs out like how I want to do. After she heard all that, she just left walking away.

I went inside my unit. The news she gave me stuck in my head. Tears left my eyes once I shut the door. I remembered all of the times we were together. How much I loved them. My day was ruined not only. I couldn't forget this, but it would hunt me.

I went to my room to stop these tears, but they couldn't. They were rushing down my cheeks like a marathon. I wanted to stop feeling at once. Did she really have to come to me and tell me this. I kept telling myself that I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'll numb it. I'll numb all the pain I've felt. Since I told them and till this day. I'll numb it all.

I'm fine. I'll just numb the feelings I get because of them.

I went out to where I was heading. I needed some groceries, so to the shop I was going to. The thoughts of it still ran around my head, but I kept thinking about something to throw it away from my thoughts.

I entered the grocery shop. I took a trolley and went in every lane to see what I had missing. While I was in the lanes, I couldn't remember what I needed, so I just took the things that I carved and could afford with the money I earn from my work. I was still going through the lanes. I entered the ice cream lane, and that's where I saw Gunil. "Gunil. Hi, " I say to him and waving. "Hello Jooyeon, what are you doing here?" He asked me. "I was just shopping a little bit. What about you?" I told him. "Oh, finding an ice cream that I know Hyeongjun likes," he told me, looking at the different flavoured ice creams. "Hyeongjun likes the strawberry flavour he does some smoothies with it," I said to him. "Oh, thank you, Jooyeon," he said as he took the ice cream. He thanked me once again and went off.

Oh no, I forgot to tell him why, but who cares? I'll ask Hyeongjun later. I was finishing my shopping when I accidentally bumped into someone. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you," the boy said. "Oh no, I'm sorry I bumped into you. I'm really sorry," I said as I saw he dropped his stuff that he was holding. I helped him pick them up. "Thank you, and sorry for bumping into you," the boy said. "No problem, and I'm sorry too," I said to the boy. "I'm Eli. Nice to meet you," the boy said. "Oh, I'm Jooyeon. Nice to meet you, Eli," I said. "Do you maybe wanna be friends?" Eli said. I thought for a second and thought maybe this isn't a bad idea. A new friend. That sounds good to me. "Sure," I said to Eli, and he smiled. We exchanged all the contacts that we would talk to each other with.

I was walking to the reception so I could pay for my items. They weren't much, so I decided to do them myself. I played for it and then left. I held the grocery bags in my hands, and I was going to my unit. I was so tired from these bags. They were full and heavy even though they weren't much they were heavy.  I was nearly there. I was light-headed. I tried to fix my eyes so I my eyesight could get clearer, but I was having blurry vision. I sat down on some brick wall that was for the mail boxes of a unit. I sat down for a while to get better. "Do you need some help?" I heard someone say. I looked up at the person. "Eli?" I said. "Yeah, Eli, what a small town," he said, smiling, offering a hand. "Oh no, I don't want to bother you at all. It's fine. I'll rest a little more and then go home, " I said to him. "No, I insist," he said, still smiling. I saw that I wasn't gonna win this little argument, so I nodded. He took both the grocery bags and walked. I walked after him. "You know I could help with one, right?" I said to him, seeing that he took all of them. "It's fine. I can handle them, " he said. "Oh," I said.

We reached the outside of my unit. I told him to go and I could carry them up, but he insisted. I went upstairs, and he followed. As I went to my units door. I saw her again. My keys fell to the ground. "Are you ok?" Eli said from behind me. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said to him as my mother looked towards us. "Son, can we talk, please?" she said, coming to me to hug me. I step back. "No, you can leave," I said to her. "Eli, thank you, but you can leave. Thank you so much. I don't know how to pay you back," I said and stopped and started thinking.  I went inside my unit and came back. "Here, I've had this teddy for a while, but you could have him." I said to him, handing him the teddy. "No, please keep him. Plus, it was a friendly gesture. This teddy needs you, " Eli said. I smiled and returned the teddy and took my groceries inside. "Thank you, Eli, once again," I said to Eli. "No problem, I'll get going since you have a guest," Eli said and walked away. "Son, who was that. Do you like him. Are you still bi?" She said, looking back at me. "Why do you care. I'm not your son anymore. Don't call me Son." I said, annoyed. "Why are you still having guys? Don't tell me you've dated a guy. Is that video still on the internet?" She said. I scoffed and got mad. "Can you leave me alone? You're not supposed to care anymore. Leave me alone, just please leave me alone, " I said to her madly. "Son, I just wanted you to be like everyone else and not like your friends who like guys and hang out with guys all the time. I just wanted a normal son, " She said madly. Tears fell from my eyes. She wanted a normal son. I wanted parents who supported me with all my decisions. "If you want a son like that, then go look somewhere else. I'm sorry, but there is no one in such ways here in this unit." I said crying. I closed the door and cried. I couldn't handle the pain she caused me. I could hear her footsteps fading away. She put a curse on me. Every time she's brought up or I see her, I cry. I don't even know why.

I calmed down after a while of crying. I put my groceries back in their places and went to my room. I was hungry, but I didn't care, and I didn't have the appetite to eat after what happened.

I had a scorching shower and went into my pyjamas to sleep. I just knew today I wouldn't have enough sleep.

I tried to go to sleep, but that wasn't working, so I decided to read a book. After a while, my eyelids were getting heavy, so I put the book down and went to sleep. I hope I sleep well.

Sorry for double long chapters today. I felt energetic, and ideas were in my head all the time, so rather than forgetting them, I wrote them down. Thank you for the motivation and support that you guys are giving me.  Stay tuned for more chapters.
Take care. 💓
I love you all. ❤️