Autumn Flame (Seasons #2 )

Chapter 25: After the Fall - Melanie

The heat is something else. I lift my hair and wrap it around a pencil, tucking it into an improvised chignon. I shouldn't have worn these pants, and I most decidedly shouldn't have eaten dairy for lunch. I look down at the zipper that's bulging outward and inhale, sucking my belly in. I'm just glad uncle's tailor isn't here to witness this after fitting me in a whole new "big girl goes to work" wardrobe in an impossible size four. I wonder if I can ask him for the same stuff a size up without informing my uncle or Charlie. I huff and fan myself with a folder.

The internship has been interesting, and a lot more fun than I expected. The partners are all great, and while I didn't expect to work with the American team this much, it's nice that no one laughs at me when I say things like "My pants got wet." How was I supposed to know that the brits call underwear "pants?"

I look out the window at the city with lazy disinterest. Just a bunch of office dwellers like me slugging their way back to their desks after lunch.

My computer pings with a message from Marny, my awesome manager who's barely six years older than me and therefore more like an office big sister than a manager.

You got this, champ! Her message says.

It makes me smile. I send a gif of a first-place podium cup and close the chat window.

"Okay," I say to myself. "Powerpoint—check. Printouts—check. Positive energy—check. Let's do this."

I ride up the elevator alone. My reflection reminds me I'm still walking around with a pencil in my hair, which I quickly yank out. My red curls tumble around my shoulders nicely. I smile at myself and step out the door.

This floor is a rush with activity. I greet a few friendly faces along the way and wind my way back to the meeting room I booked.

Before I enter, I brace. Relax, everything will be fine. I remind myself that I am not trying to impress anyone, that my work will speak for itself, and that I cannot and will not be self-conscious around him. That's not what we do anymore. We're just friends and coworkers now. And so far, it's been sort of nice. We see each other occasionally, talk very little, and it's all aboveboard when we do, as Marny likes to say.

I told her a few tidbits about my history with Rhys, so now she's extra supportive anytime we'll be in the same meeting. And when I say extra-supportive, I mean acting like my sober sponsor, which... totally justified.

There were a few times—mostly when working late—when I would see him online and I would be tempted to nudge him, or send him something funny I saw online, but I stopped myself. It's hard not to be reminded why it's a bad idea when your fingers are poised above the keyboard and this massive rock on your finger glints in the artificial light like it's in a display case. I love Charlie, I do, but somedays I feel like a mannequin next to him, there for show like one of his prized horses. I never felt that way with Rhys. He always just saw me for me, and all the mess I unfortunately brought with.

I huff at myself and shut that door in my head. No use going down memory lane. New life, new world, and new Melanie. It's been months since I've had a drop of liquor, my internship is going incredibly, and my life is looking better than ever. I have one more week left in the internship and today is my last presentation.

I lift my chin up, putting on my confident face on, and stride into the room. I wave at the group, saving Rhys for last. He looks.... Good. Some five o'clock shadow outlines his jaw nicely. I stamp out the flashback of that jaw in my mind and hurry along to my seat.

I'm leading the meeting today, so I set everything up and check in with the other side. "Hello, New York. Can you hear us, see us alright?"

Rhys answers on the intercom from the other side of the screen. "Loud and clear, London. Always great to see you."

He sounds like he means it, and like he means it just for me. I hide a shiver and clear my throat to get the virtual meeting started.

Later that night, when I go to bed, his voice still echoes in my head. It becomes impossible to override it with any other thought, and I fall asleep clutching the little mermaid shell on my bracelet, grateful for everything he's given me.

If this were only few months ago, I would have done something. Called, messaged, reached out somehow. But it's funny how time changes things, and people. This must be what growing up feels like, I think to myself. I know we no longer make sense, and we cannot be what we would've wanted to be, and I now know that that's okay. It's just life. I will forever be grateful for having him in my life, and for everything he's taught me, more than he will ever know.

I fall asleep smiling, after I make the tiniest wish on a whisper like the rustle of an autumn leaf, for fear that it won't come true if I ask for it too loudly. 

"I hope you stay my friend," I say, clutching the silver shell like a charm.

THE END