Two for One

Chapter 52: Honk

Harry almost drops the kettle when someone honks at him. He turns away from the kitchen bench where he's making tea and blinks at the always open backdoor that the snakes usually use to slither in and out.

There's a tiny, fluffy grey penguin tottering into the kitchen through the doorway. It chirps cutely and then lets out a surprisingly deep quack. Harry did not know penguins made noises.

"Hello?" Harry asks in confusion, not sure why there's a weird animal in the house now.

Death isn't nearly as committed to his costumes to actually make noises. Tom and Gellert are out at their research labs while Credence is with Albus for the day. Harry moves around the kitchen and peeks through the window to the backyard where Mooney is lying down further off, staring through the doorway staring down the tiny penguin.

It takes a moment but then it clicks that the backyard dragon flap for Nogard has accidentally let through a strange guest. Harry walks over to it and crouches down, pets it. It warbles and pushes up against Harry's hand.

"Hi," Harry whispers in awe, using the kind of voice reserved for cute animal babies.

It chirps.

"Where are your parents?" Harry asks and then it occurs to him that it may have been a while and the penguin would have stumbled around in confusion in the giant backyard for a while.

Maybe by now the pack of...penguins...

Herd of penguins?

Pod of penguins?

Waddle of penguins?

Maybe by now the penguins have gone too far? Harry doesn't bother to think too hard and just scoops up the tiny grey baby (ohmerlinsosoft) and runs across the backyard's grass, tucking the penguin under an arm and throwing out a hand to summon his broom which he jumps on mid-run.

He sails past a curious Mooney, over a sleeping Dnoces and ducks into the portal that they never did remember to close. He bursts through into a calm, white landscape, flat ice and a soft layer of snow.

Harry screams and almost throws himself from the broom just out of how painfully cold it is the split second he cuts through the wind considering he's only wearing a t-shirt and pants because it's summer. He throws on a heating charm and one for the baby, settling it better in his lap with one arm wrapped around its floofy middle.

The penguin shudders and honks.

Harry purses his lips and removes the heating charm because do penguins get sick if they're too warm? Never mind that – focus, Harry!

Harry does a circle around the top of the portal and spots a huge mass of black in the distance, accelerating towards it. The penguins look up and warble at him. One tilts back to follow him with its eyes and accidentally flops onto it's back with a shocked honk.

"Sorry!" Harry calls and hovers over the huge huddle. He hesitates and pats the baby penguin on its floofy tummy. He looks around and casts a seeking charm then throws the baby overboard.

It quacks as it zooms off and sinks into the sea of penguins. Harry flies over and peers down. The baby is chirping and its parent is nudging the floofy back into the makeshift chair of the dad's/mum's feet.

Harry nods to himself a job well done.

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Gellert and Tom get back from the Department of Mysteries and Harry has way too many pictures of penguins.

"You should have just kept it," Gellert says, flipping past a photo of waddling baby penguins chasing after a toy made for snakes that Harry shakes off to the side of the frame.

"I'm not going to steal children," Harry scoffs.

Tom and Gellert stare at him.

"So anyway, we should close that portal," Harry says. "Do either of you know how to do that or...?"

"Dnoces still uses it sometimes," Tom argues.

"And sometimes we need to do particularly destructive rituals so it's great for a quick trip," Gellert adds on, which is the actual reason they want it to stay.

"And besides, you can use it to find more baby penguins to cuddle because we know you got lonely when we were gone," Tom offers.

"I was a little," Harry admits easily. "But it's fine. When you go off to Hogwarts this time, I have a job lined up as a hitwizard, hunting bounties." Harry looks pointedly at Tom. "Because I have great experience catching criminals."

"What have I done?" Tom protests. "I mean recently. In the last week."

"You damn well know you ate the muffin I was saving for myself," Harry complains.

"Oh," Tom remembers. "It was delicious."

"Wait, wait," Gellert cuts in. "Back to bounty hunting. You really need to stop with this saving people thing," he berates. "Because one day you're going to find us, and I'll be quite upset at having to erase your memory."

Harry pauses. "Well, I won't go down without a fight."

"Yes you will," Tom says.

Harry splutters. "Okay but I'll be very disappointed in you with the few seconds I have left before you erase my memory."

The boys consider this for a moment.

"We'll make it so you never catch us," Gellert reassures Harry.

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Credence gets back and stares at the pictures. "What is it?"

"It's a penguin," Albus says, eyeing the entire stack of photos Harry has.

"It is magical?"

Harry blinks. "Oh, have you never seen a penguin before? I suppose TVs and nature documentaries aren't really a thing...want to go find the penguins from before? They're really fluffy."

The five of them set off and harass penguins for the rest of the day until Harry has to drag them back because Gellert wants to ride a polar bear and Tom has discovered the glorious brutality of orcas.