"This is nice," Elio said staring out into the sunset.
He takes a slow sip of the ice-cold beer; the condensation glistening on the can, as he lets out a contented sigh. The sound of the fizzing bubbles fills the air, mingling with the gentle breeze. I sit with my legs comfortably spread wide, with my fishing line cast in the waters. The cool grass beneath me felt nice. I gripped the same can that Elio drank from, bringing it up to my lips and taking a sip.
"Too nice." I sat the can of beer back between us.
"You sound suspicious of it."
"This." I gestured at us. "We just don't have nice moments."
"But we are now." His head dips a little as he gives me a soft and sweet smile. "Let's enjoy it."
The way Elio looked changed entirely when bathed in the perfect lighting, almost like a different person altogether. He looked more like a lover. If given the chance, he'll choose me over the current life he has now. It's funny how I can easily imagine us folding laundry together in our home. My feelings for Elio were uncertain. But it was like I could love him in this moment; raw, bare, and honest. This didn't feel real. It didn't feel like me. It didn't feel like him.
"I can't love you back."
It's a beat of five seconds that passes before Elio says anything. He picks up the can of beer between us. Takes a sip while staring out into the ocean.
"Don't expect you to," he said softly. "I can't force you to love me back. But how I feel for you isn't going to change at all. I'll love you until I'm in my grave. I'll love you in the afterlife and my next life. I'll always love you, Everest."
Such deep commitment was necessary to love someone, as love possessed the power to embody both beautiful and ugly forms. Yet, I wanted to see every ugly form of Elio's love, to later see the beauty of it all. Though his love may feel like hell, it offers a glimpse of heaven, just within reach.
"You don't love me, Elio. I told you before that What you feel isn't love."
I knew only enough about him to know he breaks his favorite toys once he grows bored with them and I was his new favorite toy. It wouldn't be long before he broke me to pieces at his feet.
"I know what I feel is love," Elio utters softly as he pops open another can of cold beer.
Somewhere between the messy haze of things, I couldn't quite figure out where Elio had fallen in love with me.
"The fish aren't biting," I said.
"You have to give them time."
"I'm sorry."
"For?"
"Not listening to you when it came to Mike."
"Now you see the consequences of your actions." Elio passed me the beer. "And Now you want me to save you, right?"
I stare at the can of beer before taking a huge gulp. Elio stares at me waiting for me to answer. I sit the can of beer down between us. "I fucked up."
"And that's the one thing about my love. No matter how big or small you fucked up I'll always be there to save you. All you have to do is say, Elio save me."
As I looked around, I could feel the weight of the tears coming on. Before Elio could see, I hastily wiped away the tears from my eyes. That's all I needed was to say it. But I couldn't.
"I hate you," I said.
"It means you love me."
"It doesn't."
"To me it does." Elio's smile is the softest I've ever seen it. "Even if your anger towards me blazes with an inferno-like intensity, I would willingly subject myself to the burns just to feel the comforting warmth of you."
I feel like this moment we share wouldn't happen again. His smile alone kills me and I always wanted to see him smile.
Elio carefully places his fishing rod on the smooth, sun-warmed rocks. Slowly, he inches closer to me, until our knees gently touch. With a gentle touch, he delicately turns my face towards his, his warm hand against my cheek. Our eyes lock, and the pounding of my heart fills my ears, blending with the soothing sound of the nearby waves crashing against the shore. As his face draws nearer to mine, I can feel the anticipation building within me, with a shared breath. He kisses me passionately. Sweet. Slowly, with a sense of urgency in his kiss, conveying the depth of his desire. In that moment, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that he wanted me.
"I love you." The words suddenly slipped from my mouth. "I really do love you–"
I blinked my eyes a few times and yawned as I looked out my car window. Elio was standing there. Right, I left Mike and came straight to Elio's office, but I was still sleepy from whatever the fuck Mike had given me in the wine. I let down the window.
"What?" I asked.
"You've been out here sleeping for two hours," Elio said. "Are you okay?"
"You got some Advil?"
Inside Elio's office, I sat in front of his desk. He gives me two Advil and a bottle of water. We don't say much to each other, but I'm watching him, thinking of the dream I had. It was so vivid. I can still feel the warmth of his hand on my cheek and the softness of his lips on mine. In my dream, I seemed more honest.
After popping the two Advil, I pulled the check out of my pocket. The thin folded piece of paper suddenly felt heavy.
I threw it up on his desk."There's your money."
Elio raised his thick, dark brow. "My money? You actually got it?" He reached for the check and unfolded it. His face changes through different emotions. Sitting the check down, he stares at me. "Why am I getting a check made out to me by Mikhail?"
"I'm paying you back why does it matter?"
"What the hell did you do?"
"I ain't do shit," I said, rubbing my hands together. "You got your money and I can't work for you anymore."
Elio nods and throws the check in front of me on the desk. "Let me guess, you're Mikhail's little bitch now?"
"I ain't his little bitch."
"Might as well be," Elio smiled. "If there was an award for stupid fuck shit. You'll come in first place, Mr. Jensen."
"Fuck you."
"Yes, fuck me but you're the one who's fucked now."
