Out Loud

Seventeen

-Eli-

Everyone was still in shock when we arrived at Grayson's house. We all sat in his living room while his mom finished putting dishes away in the kitchen. Lexi had finally settled down, but she refused to leave Levi's arms. The two of them sat bundled up in an armchair while the rest of us sat at the kitchen table.

Miranda and Grayson had made tea for all of us and we sat quietly sipping it, no one seemed ready to break the silence. Or maybe none of us had the strength to, Miranda seemed on the verge of tears, Jamie looked ready to explode, and Grayson was as calm as ever. Probably because he couldn't vocalize his frustrations.

"Are you sure you don't want tea, Lex?" Miranda asked finally. There were several moments of quiet.

"Maybe later," Levi answered.

"Will you at least talk to us?" Miranda said as she looked down into her mug. Another several moments of quiet.

"She's not ready right now," Levi replied.

"I'm really sorry guys," Grayson's mom spoke up, "I don't know what is wrong with people these days."

"It's my fault," Miranda mumbled, "I should never had posted that photo."

"And I shouldn't have posted that video," Jamie said sadly.

"Well, you did and now it's over," Natalie said as she wiped down the kitchen counter, "put it behind you and move forward."

"You don't get it," Miranda sighed, "I could lose scholarships because of this, they could suspend me or even expel me."

"And what about what she did to you?" Natalie said sternly, "what she said to you all? What she said to my son! If you ask me she's got a lot worse comin."

"What she says doesn't matter, she can still file a complaint and claim she said those things to defend herself," Miranda mumbled, "if I didn't have a million followers on Instagram it would be a different story."

"I saw the photo and read the comments," Natalie replied, "you did nothing to instigate what was being said, she can't come after you. And Jamie posted that video, so what! He could very easily claim it was from one of his YouTube skits!"

"Everyone knows it was her in the video," Jamie said, "well, a couple thousand at least. Most of my followers are from YouTube, they wouldn't even know Elliot."

"Trust me, you guys will be fine," Natalie said as she came over and hugged Miranda, "this will all be over by tomorrow!"

"For them maybe," Lexi choked out, "it might be for them, but it won't be for us. Every time we look at Elliot we'll remember today an-and."

"And the things she said," Levi finished. He looked down at his sister who was still cuddled up with him, "you have no idea how badly I want to send Rex after her."

We all sat for quite a while in silence again, there was no noise except for the occasional sip of tea.

"We shouldn't have left," Miranda said with tears forming in her eyes, her words were becoming choked up, "she wanted us to leave, she wanted us to run away and hide. We should've just stayed."

"You didn't run," Natalie said soothingly, "you removed yourselves from the situation before it got worse. Bad things would've happened if you stayed."

"We made ourselves look weak and pathetic, everyone's going to take her side now," Miranda said as she burst into tears.

Grayson held her close as she cried. Again we sat, complete silence except for an occasional sniffle.

"Eli, how come you were able to sign yourself out?" Jamie asked quietly, "you're not 18." "Yeah, I'm not," I mumbled in reply.

"Then how did you?" he said. "I'm, uh, I'm," I hesitated for a moment, this was probably my biggest secret of all, "I'm emancipated."

I proceeded to tell them my life's story, how my parents died and how I moved in with my grandparents. How they abused me and treated me awfully and how I forced them to sign the forms to emancipate me. I told them about how Elliot was the only one who knew and how everyone in my family hated me except for my aunt and uncle. I could feel this gigantic weight being lifted out of the pit of my soul, I felt free.

"God, I'm sorry Eli," Jamie whispered, "I shouldn't have asked."

"It's fine, I'm glad I told you guys," I replied with a smile.

"Well, if you ever need a place to stay, Eli, our home is open to you," Natalie smiled. "And ours as well," Levi said from his armchair. "Thanks guys, but I'm ok," I replied with a bit of blush on my cheeks, "I work and my grandparents are forced to pay child support until I turn 18, and my aunt and uncle help me out from time to time."

"Going back to school tomorrow is going to be a disaster," Miranda said as she sipped some tea.

"I'm going back" Lexi said as she wiggled out of Levi's embrace, "I'm going back and you all are too. And we'll leave again if we have to, but we'll always come back the next day."

"Amen to that!" Jamie laughed.

"Now where's the damn tea?" Lexi giggled.

We all burst into a fit of laughter, everything seemed to be cured. Our sadness, our minor depression, all of it. The six of us hung around in the living room playing video games while Natalie went about doing her housework and such, we would occasionally pinch in when we got bored. Everything was back to normal, and we were all ready to go back to school. As long as we had each other we'd be alright, and I guess that's what real friendship is.

I never had this with Elliot, a group of people that will support me no matter what. When I came out to them they didn't care, they didn't see it as something that would ruin my reputation, they didn't try to closet me from everyone in the world. And they never turned their backs on me either, even when I wasn't sure of going through with today they stood by my decision no matter what I chose. They understood that I had a friendship with Elliot, fake as it may be, and they were willing to let me keep that friendship without risk of loosing theirs. We all took care of each other, even at our most vulnerable. When Lexi ran out of that lunch room in tears we all followed her, none of us stayed behind. That's why I defended them against the person who was supposed to be my bestfriend, because she turned on me the moment I expressed and interest in hanging out with people she hated. And she tried to shelter me from them for years! Maybe it was because she was afraid to lose me to someone like Miranda, because I was all she had. Maybe now she thinks that exposing all of us will help her get the friends she so desperately wants.

We spent the rest of the day at Grayson's and I'm sure we would've spent the night if we weren't committed to showing up tomorrow. Grayson dropped me off at home and I returned to my lonely apartment, where I had made so many memories with Elliot. They were painful to think about, but I like to hope that there's still a bit of the Elle I know left in there. So I'm not going to give up on her, just like Lexi isn't going to give up on herself.

Tomorrow we're all dressing in our hottest, sexiest clothes. I wonder what I've got lying around?