[A/N] I couldn't find much motivation to write this week, so I figured I'd just give you something short and funny for now :)
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Y/N: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
Luffy: Okay.
*later*
Nami: Luffy! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
Y/N, whispering: Deny everything.
Luffy, loudly: That isn't a chair.
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Zoro: Are you having another depressive episode?
Y/N: A depressive episode?
Y/N: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.
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Nami: PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT UPSEXY IS!
Y/N: Could you rephrase the question, in like, two words maybe?
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Y/N: What kinds of sounds annoy you?
Luffy: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?
Y/N, now interested: Lets say imaginary.
Luffy: Spiders wearing flip flops.
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*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Zoro: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Y/N: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Nami: if you want information it is
Sanji: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?
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Y/N: Usopp always accuses me of having a favourite but that's not true.
Y/N: I love Luffy and all the not-Luffys equally.
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Nami: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Nami, gesturing to Zoro and Y/N fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!
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Sanji: *falls down the stairs*
Vivi: Are you okay?
Y/N: Stop falling down the stairs!
Zoro: How'd the ground taste?
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Zoro: There is no i in happyness...
Sanji: There is if you fucking spell it right.
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Usopp: What do you want?
Satsuki: *The souls of the innocent.*
Y/N: A bagel.
Satsuki: *No!*
Y/N: Two bagels.
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Sanji: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.
Usopp: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.
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Y/N: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
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Usopp: Don't say a word.
Zoro: Fergalicious.
Usopp: Zoro, I said no words.
Zoro: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we're playing Scrabble, it's not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it's convenient for you.
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Zoro, grinning: Before you were what?
Nami: Before I was-
Zoro: What?
Nami: Before I was inter-
Zoro: Before you were interrupted?
Nami: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-
Zoro: What?
Nami: *makes frustrated sound*
Usopp, nervously: Stop that. Before she hurts you.
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Vivi: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Zoro: Fake?
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Y/N: You're alive.
Zoro: There's no need to sound so disappointed.
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Sanji: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?
Nami: Anchovies and pineapple.
Y/N: I like beets!
Usopp: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?
Sanji: I'm disowning all of you.
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Luffy: We either die free, or die trying!
Usopp: Are those the only choices?
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Y/N, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?
Zoro: ...
Zoro: What's in the box?
Y/N: What woul-
Zoro: Y/N, what's in the box?
Y/N: I think you know.
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Vivi: Sorry I'm late, everyone! I broke down on the way.
Usopp: Oh no! Is your car okay?
Vivi: ...what car?
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Luffy: Hey, you wanna know a secret?
Sanji: No.
Luffy: Okay.
Sanji:
Sanji: Do you smell smoke?
Luffy: The secret is that the Merry is on fire.
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Y/N: Can I copy your homework?
Sanji: I'll help you with it!
Vivi: Yeah sure
Luffy: Bold of you to assume I did the homework
Nami: Lol nope
Usopp: Wait we had homework????
Zoro: *Read 5:55 PM*
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Sanji: "Struggle with depression" would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.
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Luffy, watching power lines fall down: Nami, Vivi! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!
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Nami: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Luffy: They do.
Usopp: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?
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*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Luffy: Thanks fam!
Usopp: Oh no.
Sanji: *cries* I love you too.
Zoro: Sounds fake, but okay.
Y/N: *A flustered mess*
Nami: Can I get a refund?
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Y/N: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Luffy: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Usopp: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Sanji: What was the color called before then?
Zoro: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!
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Vivi: That's illegal, right?
Zoro: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?
Vivi: No-
Zoro: Then shut the fuck up.
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Sanji: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.
Luffy, eyes wide: I know what I saw.
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Luffy: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?
Vivi: Ooh, yes please!
Nami, counting her money: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!
Luffy: It's not a bug though...
Nami: ...
Vivi: ...
Nami: Well I still don't want to see.
Vivi, realizing: Please don't throw-
Luffy: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*
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Sanji, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Y/N: Gray.
Usopp: Grey.
Sanji, turning to Luffy: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Luffy: Dark white.
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Vivi: N... No!
Y/N: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???
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Nami on Monday: *glues a coin to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.
Nami on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A coin!
YOU ARE READING
The Red Dawn | One Piece x Reader
Fanfiction"I don't need my status to prove I'm strong." || Heir to a notorious pirate crew and owner of a mysterious haunted mask, [Y/N] sets out to forge her own destiny apart from her family and past to prove her worth. It just so happens that leads her to...
