CALIFORNIA DREAMS

SUMMERTIME SADNESS

BELLY
Im currently sitting on a plane going from san fransisco to boston. I shouldnt be alone, but i am, and its all conrads doing.

Flashback *last week*
Its the middle of finals week, which is always a stressful time for everyone. Especially conrad. Him and agnes have been studying, til their eyes are about to pop out. Ive been doing what i normally do. Staying out of conrads way, and focusing on my own studying.

Its wednesday night at midnight, and conrads finally came upstaires. "If i have to look at another book. I think ill die," he collapsed on the bed.

I sleepily roll over, and attatch myself to him. He gently shoves me off "sorry, i dont feel like cuddling right now. Also, youre about to get mad at me, when i tell you what im about to say" conrad tells me, and i get worried.

Im already frustrated, "well spit it out then!" i instantly snap at him.

"I got your plane ticket, you leave a week from today," conrad breathes out.

My plane ticket, what about his "what about yours?" I asked him confised.

He paused for a bit,"im not going back to cousins for the whole summer belly. Im gonna work all summer, the lab is open during the summer," im flabbergasted at his response.

I almost cant speak "what do you mean? why are you just now telling me this?" i say emotional.

"Because i- sort of- just now- fully decided. Agnes told me about a med student conference thats happenning for a week. I want to go to that, plus i want to work, and make the extra money. I promise ill come back for your birthday, the 4th, and the wedding in august. Also i have to take the MCAT in august, so i can apply for med schools in the winter. Ill need to study all summer with agnes" conrad tells me calm, and cautiously.

Is he fucking serious? Hes blowing off summer, our magical summer in cousins, so he can work and study with another girl. "Youre right, it is a good thing we arent cuddling, because i am pissed. How could anything be more important than this? Not to mention, youre picking HER over ME. I now feel extremely threatened conrad. This isent okay with me!" i shouted mad.

I avoided conrad until he had to take me to the aiport. I hadent spoken to him in a week."I love you, even though youre still mad. I am commited, and loyal to you. I wont study too much with agnes, if itll bother you." he held me, and i hated myself for letting him. I kissed him a lot too, before i got into the check in line.

I couldnt bring myself to say that i love him too, even though i do.

I cried myself to sleep on the plane. I also dont know why hes so concerned about money. He has half of the liquated shares from his dads company. Not to mention all his paychecks hes already gotten. Who the hell wants to study all summer for a test? Why cant he do that in boston? Oh right, his fucking study buddy is in california.

Stevens picking me up from the airport this time. My mom just finished up her chemo, and finally went back to her house last week. Im glad clevelands been with her, its made me worry less. I know my mom will be okay. It wont be summer without conrad though. What am i suppose to do? This is our magical place.

I mustve had fire coming out of the top of my head when i got to boston, because the first thing steven said was "yikes, somebodys got a hard case of rbf" he teased.

I glare at him"i do, and i have every reason to have it. I cant fucking believe conrad right now. How could he want to spend the summer apart from all of us?" i exclaim in frustration.

Steven sighs, and gives me an annoyed look"look belly, conrad will not get into medical school, unless he passes the MCAT. The MCAT is the hardest test to pass. Conrad is strategic and logical, when accomplishing his goals. Him staying back, and studying with someone who will also be taking it, is really smart. Theyre wont be any distractions there, like there would be here. Dont be a jealous girlfriend either." steven tells me blunt.