Aurora - You are my light (Ateez x reader)

TWENTYEIGHT

After thoroughly cleansing myself of the food smells and various liquids on my body, I began preparing for the upcoming celebration. I chose one of the most beautiful garments Elaria had made for me, which I had saved for this special evening. 

It was an olive-green two-piece outfit made of delicate material, interwoven with fine silver threads, so that the fabric sparkled like the stars. The top was a crop blouse with wide, sheer sleeves that tightened at the wrists. The floor-length skirt was high-waisted, gradually becoming more transparent towards the hem, and featured a high slit on the side, reaching just below the hip, revealing a hint of leg. Sexy yet elegant, I thought, feeling at least somewhat prepared for the evening through my attire.

I felt uneasy. After saying goodbye to Wooyoung following our kitchen battle, guilt began gnawing at me. I had been so caught up in the heated moment with him that I hadn't thought of Yeosang for a second. Now, I couldn't think of anything else. We weren't a couple or anything, yet I always felt something special when he was around. I had already told him how much he meant to me. Considering that, this wasn't a nice way to show appreciation.

I also didn't know how Wooyoung would react to me after our day in the kitchen. Would he continue to tease me like he did all day, or would he go back to ignoring me as he had done before? I was also clueless about how to face Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Their offer still hung unspoken over us. I hadn't seen them since then and was now more nervous than ever. After all, Seonghwa had always been the one among them who made me feel good and calm.

As for San, the unspoken between us had become a habit, and I avoided the conversation, even though I knew it had to happen sooner or later—for my own good, too. But I wasn't ready yet. Mingi's presence tonight also made my stomach churn. The last time we were all together, it didn't end well for anyone. And seeing Elaria for the last time tonight for an indefinite and probably very long period didn't make the situation any easier. Damn it.

I walked to the open window of my room and breathed in the mild summer air. I decided to stick close to Jongho and Yunho tonight, as they were the only ones I could face without worry. As my gaze swept over the beautiful green coast of Velurien, heavy doubts overcame me. Was it really the right decision to sail with the eight pirates? What would this journey bring? If I stayed here in Velurien, I would have a nice and simple life. With Elaria. With my horse. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I could deepen my interest in medicine and maybe work as a healer like Elaria.

On the other hand, I couldn't bear to let the guys go without at least trying. This journey was also about me. It might be the key to my past, to my biological parents, to my origins. It wouldn't be easy, I knew that, but it was necessary, and I had to embark on this journey with them if I wanted to feel whole and alive again. My heart longed for freedom and the feeling of being alive. I had a strange sense of homesickness, but not for a place, rather for a feeling. And I wanted so much to believe that these eight could give me that feeling.

Suddenly, delicate arms wrapped around me from behind, and I inhaled Elaria's familiar scent. "When did you come in?" I murmured, not turning around, my gaze still on the landscape outside my window. 

"Just now. I knocked several times, but you seemed lost in thought," she mumbled into the crook of my neck. I just nodded, feeling the lump in my throat grow. God, how much I loved this woman. And as if she read my thoughts, she hugged me a little tighter. We stood like that for a while until I heard her gentle voice again. 

"We should head to the celebration. Are you ready?" I turned to face her, looking into her light gray eyes. 

"I don't know, but I have no other choice." I forced a convincing smile.