Aurora - You are my light (Ateez x reader)

FIFTYSIX

The silence after the chaos caused by the blue bird was almost worse than the moment itself.

Yeosang was out there. Maybe.

But not with us. Not here. Not in his body.

The salty air cut into my lungs like a knife as I leaned heavily against the wooden railing of the Treasure. The sea was calm. Too calm. As if it had forgotten it had taken someone's life.

"What if he doesn't come back?" My voice was barely more than a whisper. "What if... that was it? A single beat of wings on the horizon and now... nothing?"

Seonghwa stepped beside me. His gaze stretched out over the water, like he could see deeper than anyone else with his magic. Maybe he could.

"He was exhausted, Aurora. Some shapeshifters lose their human form when they reach their limit," he said. "It's a kind of defense mechanism. The body flees when the mind can't take it anymore. Maybe... maybe Yeosang's magic saved him by transforming him."

"That sounds like you're already making peace with the worst."
I turned to face them. All of them.
"You were seven. You have powers that could move mountains. And he's still gone."

"Aurora..." Yunho started, but I didn't let him finish.

"You weren't there! You didn't see him fall! You didn't feel what I felt! That... tearing." My voice cracked. "And now you're standing here talking like this is somehow okay."

The silence that followed was unbearable.

Then Seonghwa stepped closer. His eyes were dark, steady, but not cold.

"We did everything we could. We stopped the Treasure for days. We searched for him. Using everything we had. And we found nothing."

"Nothing," Mingi echoed, quieter than before.

I wanted to believe it. I really did. But my heart thudded against that hopelessness like it could force the world to change its mind.

Then we heard footsteps. And his voice.

"Say that again."

San had appeared, Jongho right behind him.
His gaze burned. Not just with anger. There was pain. And fury. And something that looked like disappointment.

"Say again that we did nothing," he said through gritted teeth. "That we just waited. That we gave up."

I opened my mouth, but he didn't let me speak.

"I was there, Aurora. I jumped into the water over and over again, when everyone else told me to stop. I tried to find him. His warmth. Some damn trace of him. Jongho nearly passed out trying to track Yeosang's aura." His voice shook.

"We didn't wait. We hoped. We cursed. We prayed. And we hated ourselves for not finding him."

Jongho placed a hand on his shoulder, but San pulled away.

"He doesn't only matter to you. And you've known him the shortest. What, a few weeks? Maybe months. I've known him half my life. He's my family."

That hit hard.

For a moment, no one said anything.

Then Hongjoong stepped between us. Not with aggression, just because it needed to be done.

"Turning on each other won't help," he said calmly. "If Yeosang comes back, in any form, he wouldn't want us to fall apart."

My breathing was shallow. I was tired. I was angry. I was at my limit.

But I nodded. Just once. Heavily.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.
Not just to San, but to all of them.
Because I didn't know how to live with this hope.
Or with the fear that it was wrong.