Save Me

Chapter 1

Hiya! I'm Milan Lorenzo Ricci - yes, my name is pronounced like the city in Italy, and yes, I was named after this city, too. I'm twenty-one, gay, and part of the male population in the world that can become pregnant, which is about ten percent of the male population. I have a 2-year-old son named Lucca Gabriele Coasta-Ricci.

My deceased fiance Gabriele Coasta was murdered a year and a half ago when our son was six-months-old, while making drug deliveries with another person, and he was killed when he and the other man wouldn't give up the drugs to a couple of guys in a local gang. I know I haven't been the same since Gabriele's death, and I've built up some walls around myself to keep new people from becoming close to me. I still go through life because I need to make sure our son still has me, his papa, and I have to keep Gabriele's memory alive for our son.

I'm 5'8" with a lean muscular build like a dancer, lightly tanned skin, dark brown hair that's almost black because I dye my hair every couple of months, and I have bright sky blue eyes. I live in a large home with my papa Rome, my da Lorenzo, my son, and my older brother Romeo. The year is 2054. We live in New York on two hundred acres of land in the country with a lot of homes and buildings on the property. We own and operate five business' - three bars, one restaurant, and one bookstore. These five business' are legitimate covers for our biggest line of work - an Italian Family Mafia - The Rossi Family. My parents are the big bosses of this, and my brother and I are two of their underbosses - I'm the underboss of money, and I'm the accountant of their businesses, and Romeo is the underboss of weapons.

I've been told that I'm closed off to a lot of people I know, to making any new friends, or any new love interests. I have to be guarded because I have to function for not only myself, but most importantly for my son, and I can't allow myself to fall in love with another man who could be taken from me in a hash manner.

"Son? You alright?" Papa questions in his deep voice, causing me to jump in my spot (I'm leaning my bum back against the counter in the kitchen), while gripping my coffee mug in my hands as I stared down into the hot liquid with creamer.

Snapping my head up to meet his worried gaze, raising my left eyebrow at him, murmuring; "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Papa lightly chuckles as he pours himself his own cup of coffee with creamer before leaning back against the counter next to me; "I asked because you were zoned out looking into your coffee. I just want to make sure you're alright."

"Yeah, I'm fine, I promise," I murmur, giving him a half-assed smile. "I just miss Gabriele is all."

Papa instantly frowns as he gently squeezes my arm closest to him before dropping his arm back to his side; "I couldn't imagine loosing the love of your life, especially at a young age. I can never express how sorry I am for his death, the pain that's is caused you and my grandson, and I'm the reason he's dead."

Shaking my head instantly at his comment, turning my head to look at him with a hard expression; "Papa, I don't blame you for his death. I blame the assholes that killed him and injured Tommy. Gabriele loved working for you, and I could never blame you or Da for his death, and neither could Lucca. I just miss him is all. Lucca asked me some questions last night as I was tucking him into bed about Gabriele, and you know my rule about always being honest with him when he asks about his Da."

Papa softly hums with a nod as he sips his coffee; "I know, son, and that's a good rule to have - being as honest and transparent with Lucca that's age appropriate about any questions he has about his Da. You're allowed to miss him, baby."

Sniffling softly, I reach up my left hand to wipe away the fallen tears from under my eyes with a nod. Before I can reply after taking a long sip to gather my thoughts, Lucca comes bouncing into the kitchen with his wild bed hair, and still dressed in his long sleeve and pants of his light green colored Dino jammies.

"Hi Papa! Hi Grampy!" Lucca hollers with a happy smile as he crashes into my legs, wrapping his arms around me, and squeezing tightly for a 2-year-old.

Placing my cup of the counter before reaching down to pick my son up, and resting him on my right hip after giving him a hug, and a soft kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning, my love-bug," I murmur, giving him another kiss on the forehead.

"Mor'in'!" he giggles, resting his the side of his head against my shoulder as he sleepily blinks over at his Grampy, and giving him a greeting, too.

Papa leans over to give Lucca a gentle kiss on his temple, before Lucca wiggles in my hold to be let down, so I place him on his feet before he runs over to the table, and settling himself into his booster seat.

"Cocoa Krispies?" I ask my son, and he eagerly nods in agreement, so that's what I make him for his breakfast.

Romeo walks into the kitchen, half asleep still, and dressed in his pajamas, and a moment later Da walks into the room, too, and he's also still in his pajamas. Papa and I are the only two dressed at the moment. Da makes breakfast for himself, Romeo and Papa, and I said I had already eaten when I woke up a couple of hours ago - I had blueberry yogurt and a slice of toast with peanut butter.

"Oh, I forgot to mention but Alexi is coming over this afternoon, so he and I can hangout and catch up, now that he's home from Italy," Romeo grins as he finishes his breakfast of bacon and pancakes.