Dear Haley; Love, Haley Vol. 3

Heyyy, it's nice to talk to you today

Dear Haley,

Hey, it's nice to talk to you today. Life is going well and I hope you and your family are doing well too! I've been going through a lot lately and wanted to check up on you to make sure everything is okay. How have you been? I've been well, I think I have a lot of demons inside of me. I don't know what to do and I don't know how long this will go. It's been making me think of a lot to the point it has all gotten negative. Do you know why that is? I think it's because I'm overthinking the future too much. It's the only thing that's keeping me anxious. I never knew why it mattered to me so much, other than the fact that if I didn't do what I thought I should do, all of my problems would go away. If that's the case then let me be honest some more. I think something is speaking through me and it seems as though I have permitted them. Something they can hold on to as leverage. I'm sorry that it had to be this way, but I hope I can change to make a difference in myself. Even with the idea that I am saved and I have nothing to worry about. I alter my future way too much to be focused on the wrong thing. It's true though, and I need to make a difference and make it work. I believe the main cause of this distraction is the fact that I don't want to exist anymore. I know I have been saying this for a while now, but it's time to put it on the table and discuss the problem. Why do I want to die forever? I don't know what is wrong with me, I think I'm too focused on the past to care about whether or not I would even make it to the future. So it seems I've made a mistake about me. I'm unique, not perfect. So please, tell me the truth. Have I always been lied to? What is the meaning of today, right now, this point, this promise, this opportunity? I hear too many voices that keep me in fantasy land. They are telling me all kinds of things about me and my family, and it's time to put an end to it. It isn't what I want, nor what I think I should have. So why am I constantly tormented in the present? Because I have nothing to do, and nowhere to go. The best thing to do is find a destination before taking a trip. Otherwise, you will get confused about where you want to lead. So I'm giving myself time to cooperate so I can lead my pack and my half to our greatest destination. I do love all of you, and I will never harm or hurt you. The more that I do it to myself, the more I do it to you and I don't want that to occur. So I will now be kind and sweet to everyone so I can love all of you the way it should be. Thank you.

And before I go, I just want to say. Thank you all for being here with me, thank you Creator, and thank you all. I love all of you equally.

Love,
Haley