Roses in the Moonlight

Chapter 9

Sirius POV:

After Remus had stormed out of the dorm, Sirius was left alone with his thoughts. The silence in the room was deafening, and it made him feel even more isolated. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. His mind was racing with memories of the heated argument with Remus. The guilt and shame he felt because of his actions heavily burdened him and it was becoming too much to handle. As the silence consumed him, Sirius could feel himself starting to unravel.

I messed everything up. What the hell was I even thinking? Well that's just it, I wasn't thinking. I don't know how I am gonna fix this. There isn't a way to fix it. I've done it this time. Remus is never going to talk to me again and hates me. He's probably better off without me. So is James. I almost ruined the match for him. I should be kicked off the team. I shouldn't have been let off so easily. I deserve to have a punishment. I almost killed someone. Even if he is with Remus, that is no excuse to murder someone for it.

He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging out in frustration. His thoughts were swirling around in his head, getting louder and louder with each passing moment. Suddenly, he was hyperventilating, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps of air. He felt like he was drowning, like he couldn't catch his breath. He clawed at his chest, desperately trying to calm down. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. His heart was racing rapidly, and could feel a cold sweat breaking out. He tried to take deep breaths, but it felt as if no air was getting into his lungs. He felt like he was going insane and on the verge of losing all control.

Growing up in Grimmauld Place, Sirius had experienced many breakdowns like this. The toxic, repressive atmosphere of his family home had taken a toll on him, feeling the weight of his family's expectations and disapproval. The constant pressure and criticism from his family, especially his mother, had left him feeling like there was no one to turn to for comfort or support. The only way he knew how to cope was to bottle up his emotions and ignore them, which often led to these intense panic attacks.

The argument with Remus had reminded Sirius of the constant pressure and disapproval from his family. The feeling of disappointment and letting down people he cared about was a familiar and painful one. Sirius was now completely overwhelmed with tears streaming down his face, as he tried to catch his breath. The thoughts in his head continued to swirl, taunting him with his mistakes and failures. He was stuck in a never ending cycle of failure.

Once he had finally managed to steady his breathing, he remembered that tonight was a full moon. Sirius felt a growing sense of unease as he debated whether he should meet up with the others. The thought of spending the whole night with Remus, knowing how angry he was, made him feel sick. He couldn't help but worry about what would happen when they interacted again, and it filled him with anxiety. On one hand, he knew he was supposed to go with Remus every full moon, but on the other, he couldn't stomach the thought of being in Remus's presence.

For over an hour, Sirius sat in the same position, debating what to do. He felt sick at the thought of joining Remus, but the guilt and sense of responsibility eventually won. He knew he had to go, no matter what the outcome would be. With a deep breath, Sirius pushed his anxiety aside and made his way to meet the others.

By the time Sirius had arrived, everyone had already transformed. He found them all either pacing, lying down, or huddled in a corner. He could sense the tension in the air. Even in Remus's wolf form, Sirius could still see the frustration in his eyes as he paced back and forth in the darkened room. Without wasting any more time, Sirius quickly transformed into his animagus form and joined the others in the room. He immediately noticed how different Remus was as the wolf. His usually kind, calm demeanor was replaced by restlessness and agitation.

As the night went on, Sirius was shocked to see that Remus's wolf form continued to target him, while the Prongs and Wormtail were left alone. The wolf's attacks were more aggressive and fierce with Sirius, as if he was purposely trying to attack him.

What the hell is going on? Remus and the wolf are usually completely separate. There's no way that Remus's anger at me is affecting the wolf's behavior. I mean it's only aggressive with me, not the others. What the fuck is happening? Should I leave before something happens?

Sirius was bewildered, not understanding why Remus's wolf form seemed to be taking out its frustration on him. It was as if Remus's human feelings were spilling over into the wolf, making him lash out at only Sirius. 

Despite Remus's constant attacks, Sirius tried his best to dodge and defend himself, but it was clear that the wolf was not holding back. Every time Sirius moved, the wolf was on his tail, teeth bared and claws slashing. The other marauders seemed to notice what was happening, and James and Peter tried their best to distract Remus and keep him away from Sirius. But he was relentless, and his focus was fixated on Sirius.

Throughout the night, the wolf continued to go after Sirius and managed to harm him a couple of times leaving deep scratches. He tried to not let the pain show, but it was difficult to hide, and the damage inflicted on him became obvious to the others.

The fight between them had become more intense, and Remus's aggression was getting out of control. The attacks became more violent and ferocious, and eventually caught Sirius off guard.

Sirius stumbled back as the wolf jumped on him, claws slashing at his chest. The pain was intense, and he could feel the blood leaking out of the gashes on his body. As it continued, the wolf continued to slash and nip at Sirius's body, his teeth and claws tearing at his skin. Sirius tried to push the wolf off, but was unable to and couldn't find a moment to stop the assault.

Sirius felt himself getting weaker and weaker, his body battered and bloody. Prongs tried to intervene but was pushed away as the wolf remained focused on Padfoot. It was like the wolf was consumed by rage and wouldn't stop until he had destroyed his target.

His body laid limp on the floor, surrounded by a pool of his own blood, and used the last of his strength to transform back into human form. He had lost so much blood from his wounds that he passed out soon after.

Once Sirius was unconscious, the wolf had seemed to calm down and rejoined the others, pacing back and forth in the room. James knew the severity of Sirius's injuries and quickly took action. He lured Remus away from Peter and Sirius and led him to another area of the shack. Meanwhile, Peter rushed to Sirius's side and casted a levitation charm on his body, taking him directly to the hospital wing.

When Peter arrived at the hospital wing with an unconscious and bloody Sirius, the nurses gasped in shock at the sight. Madam Pomfrey quickly took charge, immediately summoning a stretcher and laying Sirius on it. She instantly got to work, assessing the wounds and casting spells to begin the healing process. The other nurses helped out as well, bringing in various potions and supplies to help treat him.

Sirius's injuries were severe, but thanks to Madam Pomfrey's treatment, he was just barely saved from death. However, even though he was stabilized, he remained unconscious and unresponsive. She had done all she could at this point, and now it was a waiting game to see if he would wake up.

As morning arrived, the marauders made their way to the hospital wing to check on Sirius. They had been up all night, and the events from the previous night were taking a toll on all of them. James, Peter, and Remus entered and quickly scanned the room for Sirius's bed. Madam Pomfrey greeted them with a solemn look on her face and continued tending to the other patients.

They approached Sirius's bed and their hearts sank as they saw him lying there, still unconscious. He looked pale and fragile, and the contrast between his usual lively self and his current state was drastic. Sirius looked small and vulnerable among the pristine white sheets of the bed, his body covered in bandages from head to toe. The amount of damage that was done to him was clear, even through the layers of bandage. James could tell Remus felt guilty for what happened to Sirius. James could see it in his eyes.

Madam Pomfrey soon came over and told the group of boys that visiting hours were over and that it was time for them to head to class. They didn't want to leave Sirius's side, but they knew they didn't have a choice. James, Peter, and Remus exchanged worried glances before reluctantly heading to the exit. Before Remus left the hospital wing, he took one last glance at Sirius. With a guilt ridden look in his eye, he turned to catch up with James and Peter, leaving Sirius there lying in his bed.