Life of a Wedgie Masochist

The Wrong Lunch Table

As a nerd at Bullsworth, I never really get to enjoy lunch because the Bullies and Jocks always take my lunch money before flossing my ass with my own Tighty Whities. Today was different, I didn't have to spend my lunch period doing some Jocks homework. By some chance I somehow managed to avoid all Bullys and Jocks today and finally have money to buy lunch. I go to the cafeteria and waited in the line like everyone else as the lunch lady hands me a tray of food. I gave her the $20, and grabbed the tray and headed over to the cafeteria benches. I noticed every table is packed except for one. I put my tray down, sat down and start eating. The school gave the usual mashed potatoes, vegetables, juice, and milk. I'm enjoying the lunch when a group of Jocks wearing letterman jackets approach me.

"What the fuck are you doing sitting at our table nerd?" The Jock asks.

"There's plently of room for you guys to sit" I responded about to continue eating when one of the Jocks grabs the back of my hair pullin me back forcing me to stare them in the eyes.

"I don't think you understood me when I said 'OUR TABLE' NERD!" He screams as the whole cafeteria is looking at the Jock's and I.

They noticed the waistband of my Tighty Whities were sticking out of my dorky khakis. On the waistband I have the writing "NERD" In big black bold letters. The Jocks see this and smirk to each other. One of the Jocks grabs the mashed potatoes right off of my tray as another Jock grabs the juice.

"Hey thats mine! Give it back" I yelled at the Jock.

"You want it back okay here you go" The Jock says as he dumps it down the back of my Tighty Whities putting the rest of it on the tray. Before I can even react, two Jocks grab the back of my waistband and yanked them up as fast as they can ramming my Tighty Whities up my nerdy ass giving me a messy wedgie. The cafeteria chants the Jocks names to let them know they are not on my side, letting the Jocks know that they would love to see me humiliated. One of the Jocks hops up onto the table and shoves my face into the remains of the mashed potatoes on the tray and gives me a piledriver wedgie.

"ATOMIC WEDGIE! ATOMIC WEDGIE! ATOMIC WEDGIE!" The Crowd chants letting the Jocks know how they want me to he humiliated.

"PLEASE DON'T PLEASE DON-" My plea's are cut off by the agonizing pain of having my Tighty Whities splitting me in half, feeling the mashed potatoes enter places it shouldn't be. The Jock pulls and pulls flossing my messy Tighty Whities up to the back of my head. He pulls as hard as he could stretching them over my head. I thought he was done as the Tighty Whities are over my head, he pulls one more time. The Jock snaps my Tighty Whities over my chin as the food on my faces smears all over the back of the Tighty Whities. The writing on the waistband conveniently describes me and the situation I'm in right now as I'm labeled "NERD" I thought they were done, the Jock that took my juice poured it all over my head, waterboarding me through the atomic wedgie.

"YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO WITH OUR LEFTOVERS?" The Jock screamed.

"THROW THEM AWAY! THROW THEM AWAY!" The crowd chanted. Before I could even comprehend what they said, the Jocks lift me up by the legholes of my atomic wedgie carrying me over to a trashcan. The Jocks shoved me head first into the most full trashcan in the middle of the cafeteria. The crowd bursts out into cheers and laughter at the sights of my humiliation. They took my tray of food and dumped it on top of me. I am head first in a trashcan while still in my atomic wedgie. I'm completely humiliated.

"THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN NERDS TRY TO SIT AT OUR LUNCH TABLE!" One of the Jock's screams as he highfives all the other Jocks. I learned my lesson not to mess with the Jocks yet I do it anyways. I must love being punished by them, I love being put in my place. After all I'm at the bottom of the Hierarchy at Bullsworth as a nerd for a reason.