Betrayal

Amidst the storm

"Behind the façade of a sweet and fun six-year -old, I hide a deep longing to be loved and accepted. Everyone thinks I'm amazing, but little do they know , I'm craving the warmth of my mother's embrace. I'm fond of Ms. Vian, she is kind and gentle but even she can't fill the void left by my mother's absence.

I'm desperate to know more about the main house, where my mother and sister live, but the ladies seem to silence whenever l ask . I have caught glimpses of my mother through my bedroom window and I sense a deep connection between us. I wonder if she share my love for nature and melons. How I wish she knew how badly l craved for her presence in my life and how often I got immersed in a world of fantasy just seeing her embracing me and walking with me besides the beach but our rare meetings always leave me in tears, as she never smiles or says a kind word.

The ladies tell me she is busy, but I sense a deeper truth. On my fifth birthday, I overheard a conversation that shattered my innocence. My sister Kaila spoke of me in disdain, saying I wasn't as angelic as everyone thought. Her words pierced  through my heart, and I realised I was living a lie. I'm trapped in this house, longing for love and acceptance but surrounded by secrets and rejection. I always wonder if one day I will find the truth and the love I so desperately crave for.

Everything around me is shrouded in secrecy. Everyone whispers, but no one speaks the truth. Ms. Bianca's constant refrain- 'you will know everything when you're older'- only fuels my frustration, I'm not as young as they all say, soon I will be turning seven and I think they should respect that. Ms. Vian says once I turn thirteen, I will be allowed to stay at the main house...I hope that's when all truth will be told to me for I'm trapped in a web of lies, with no escape.

My sister Kaila's hatred towards me is suffocating, and the adults' attempts to shield me only make more desperate for answers. At school, I'm a princess, admired by all but they don't see the agony I endure in this cold , dark mansion. I'm alone, with only my puppy Wits to confide in. He listens, his gaze understanding, as I pour out my fantasies, my dreams and fears.

The one topic strictly off-limits? My father. Its as if he never existed. On my birthday, I'm forced to pretend, to make a wish, to fake a smile. But deep down, I yearn for the truth, for the family that loves me, not one that hides secrets. Before, I could cry and ask for my parents presence on my birthdays but I guess I have gotten used to only having the ladies of the house, my best friend Tricia , Wits and my sister Kaila though she never looks interested at all. 

'She loves you so much and so does your mother and everyone else. Just she is not well' '' but she is always sad and angry with me. she pushes me whenever l try to get closer to her and last time, she slapped me! Is that also love?" 'oh child, come , you getting late for bed.' Ms. Vian  tries so much to protect me but I feel something is a mis.

Back at school, my art teacher Ms. Lily praises my talent, assuming my parents are proud. Little does she know, my mother is a stranger and I doubt she cares. The ladies of the house whisper secrets and mysteries, their hushed tones ceasing whenever I approach. What are they hiding? What's wrong with me that everyone avoids the truth? I'm a prisoner of secrets, longing for freedom, truth and a family that loves me unconditionally.