Notebook entry #3

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December 1st, 2015

I was able to get some of my savings out of the bank and I am now living in a hotel. Which sounds worse than it already is. I was able to get my father on the phone for the first time after trying to fight this myself, he was working to help me sue Charles for what he had done but I don't think we will win over a lawyer. I was able to figure out if it was a boy or girl today, it's a boy! I have a few names picked out,

1 - August

2 - Timithee

3 - William

4 - Jackson

I am leaning toward August right now but we will see when he gets here. Dad was excited to meet his grandson and has made a makeshift nursery in the spare room in case I move in for a few months. I am trying to keep proof of the things Charles say/did. I never realize how much people can twist your words to make you seem like the bad guy, I am worried for the future. I have a gut feeling something bad is going to happen to my baby. I gut a wrenching feeling as if Charles has something to do with it. Charles will never find me since I'm outside the state, he has no contact. I have dreams at night showing my son dead in many ways. I choose not to believe them but they are too real. I would look for help at this moment even ask my dad for help. But if I mentioned it they would think I'm crazy. 

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