My Posh idiot (BOOK 2)

28💞

TRIGGER WARNING (MENTION OF R*APE⚠️)

"Whenever you are ready Iman..." I heard Dr Rashid say

I took a deep breath, just like he told me, as I closed my eyes, preparing to recall the exact moment of what happened on that night.

"It was a party, Poppy, a friend of mine had told me about that would be happening after uni. I was like 'I might as well', as Hugo offered to drive, Mariah, my ex boyfriend Alistair and I too..." I started

"Alistair and I got into an argument earlier before the party and even though we made up, it was kind of still frosty between us..." I said "...Alistair had issues with what I was wearing, but when does he not have an issue. Alistair disputed his unwanted opinion, I ended up being annoyed by him and resulted in getting too drunk as he messed up the night before it even started..."

"...time flew by, I was partying, having a great time with my friends. I was drunk but I was aware. He wanted me to go home because I was too drunk but I was sure of myself that I was fine. I thought he wanted me home because of what I wearing and the drinking as well. Deep down on that night, I was still very upset with him. It resulted in me cussing him out and boom he was out of my sight. I didn't think nothing of it because I just wanted to have fun..."

I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying to squeeze out any memory of what happened next. All I remember was leaving my friends because I wanted to use the toilet and then finding myself locked in a room with Harry.

"...I don't remember much of what happened from that moment and how I came in contact with Harry. I was told I was spiked by him-"

I paused squeezing my eyes tighter again as I tried to go deep into my brain on what happened in those blurred moments.

I got visuals of loud music, flashing led lights and stairs- that's all I've got.

"Iman-"

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm just trying to remember something" I reassured Dr Rashid "based on what I can go of on, I was going up these stairs- I was going up the stairs-"

"I was going up the stairs and I uh-"

I found myself repeating the exact lines over and over again.

"Sorry, I'm just not remembering what happened next, everything is like a blur to me" I started to panic, feeling my whole body slowly tremble

"That's okay Iman-"

"No it's not okay. I've been attending therapy sessions for nearly two months and I've spoken about this often and I thought I was ready to retell my story for the first time, only to not remember a single thing" I started to panic even more "I am a thirty one year old woman that should already have their life together and my rape is still affecting me 10 years later..."

"...I have to go, I just can't be here anymore-" I got up from my seat, gathering my things on my way to leave the room

"...Iman-"

"I'm not going to do anything stupid Dr Rashid, I just can't be here today. I need some time to myself"

Present day ~

And who was I kidding, I wanted to on that day. The nightmares were starting to come back again. I'd come into work reassuring Alex that I was perfectly fine but I really wasn't. I contemplated telling him what was really wrong with me at times.