The Competition

Viktor

As I looked out the window, I see her get in the car and drive away. I was sure she felt the same way. The look in her eyes told me so. The room felt empty without her, the silence deafening. I clenched my fists, trying to contain the swirl of emotions inside me. Desire, frustration, anger - they all mixed together, creating a storm I couldn't control. The memory of her gaze filled with heat and guilt, ghosting across my skin. I tried to shake it off, to concentrate on something else, but the pull was too strong. My mind replayed the moment she stepped back, the look in her eyes, the quiver of her lips. I run a hand through my hair, trying to dispel the pain inside me, desperation gnawing at me, a need to find some release from the tension that was building. My thoughts were a chaotic mess. The moment the feeling reached my stomach, I knew what I needed. I lay down, closed my eyes, and let my mind drift back to her, my hand moving down my body as I gave myself lazy strokes, trying to think what the sensation of her touch felt like. It was a poor substitute, but it was all I had. My mind was filled with images of her - the way her green eyes were filled with heat when she looked at me, the way her body felt close to mine. The ache inside me grew as I squeezed harder, biting my lower lip. A mixture of pain and pleasure hit me until I finally found the release I so desperately needed, and then I lay there, breathless and unsatisfied, feeling the hot, sticky liquid on my hand. The physical release did little to alleviate the emotional turmoil. I wanted more than a fleeting moment of pleasure. I wanted her, all of her, and the thought of being without her was unbearable. The room was still and quiet as I fall into a deep sleep.

-❦-❦-❦-

Tuesday. Never liked the day, never will. First of all we have P.E. and I am already tired. I got up early to have breakfast, which is a rare thing, and I do not want it to come out later. My thoughts go back to the day before as my heart aches. I shouldn't have done that. I was about to jump her my God. "Are you okay Vito?" my little sister asks. I hum as I hear the door open. And who else but Carson appears, not even surprising anymore. "You ready to go? I'm driving today, hand me your keys" he yawns, waving at us.
"Am I hallucinating or are you having breakfast, Viktor?"
"Maybe it's your lack of sleep," I spit back. He gives Natalia the 'is he all right? ' look. "I'm fine," I repeat, too tired to even tell them what happened yesterday and I don't think I want to. "Let's go, I'm done eating," they both follow me in silence as we get into my car and drive to the academy. Let's just get done with the week like always.