God of Strength (Light of Obsession #1)

Chapter 4

Alicia

      I feel his hands on me, dragging me away. I claw and kick and scream for help, he shoves to of his fingers into my mouth to keep me quiet.

     "This pretty little mouth will be very useful." I can smell the alcohol off his breath. Oh God. Please, someone, anyone just help me!

     I jolt from my bed, my breathing is erratic and my heart rate unable to slow down. Shit. Breathe, Alicia, breathe.

I stagger to my feet. His hands are on me. They're on me. I can feel them. I can feel them. I can feel them.

I shuffle through my drawer and pop open my anxiety pills. I down 2 of them down my mouth and take a drink of water.

I slump back down, my heart rate returning to normal and my breathing calming down. I wipe the bead of sweat off my head.

Glancing at the clock, it reads 3:20 AM. Of course, I never sleep through the night. I grab my phone and open instagram. It's been about a week since I met Vaughn Morozov.

I know my brothers don't trust him, but my brothers don't trust any guy that talks to me. We've talked over social media for a bit and he seems respectable.

I'm not quick to trust but I haven't exactly seen any red flags from him. Not yet at least. He's very intelligent and has a dry humor that kills me, really. I'll text him later today, Id like to see him again.

     Since then, we've also met a new dorm mate.  Her name is Annika Volkov, and is just the sweetest ball of sunshine.

     I favorite a couple photos I want to post today, some behind the scenes of my newest movie, it's always good press. Fans go wild for it.

     I make a mental note to call my manager too, see what more press I can do. It's already one of the most anticipated movie of the year, but I'm a perfectionist. I want it to be the most anticipated movie of the year.

    Grabbing my headphones, I press my playlist to hear 'The Prophecy' by Taylor Swift. Oh, great, a song I relate to. I swear Spotify wants me to bawl.

    As I always do when I wake up, I clean. It's a good use of my time, my room is always spotless of course. But there's always room for improvement, the room shouldn't just be spotless it should be perfect.

    Everything should be in order and polished.

    I don't like chaos. Chaos is unpredictable, and I hate that. I follow a very specific regime every day. Before I go to bed at night, I plan out every hour of my next day with all the possibilities that could happen.

    It's a repeat, but it's better that way. Repetition means no surprises, it means nothing that I don't want to happen could happen. It means someone like him couldn't hurt me again.

    I begin to clean the bed frame, there's no dust on it, but it's the dust that you can't see that really matters. Don't judge me, okay?

The hours pass quickly as I clean my room and before I know it, my 6:00 AM alarm pings. Meaning, it's time to get up and get dressed. I check my calendar for the day. Classes from 8-11, an interview from 12-3, another class from 3:30-5, then a shoot from 5-7. Alright, time to get ready.

    I wash my face and brush my teeth then get dressed. I put on a blouse and a navy pleated skirt that ends around my thighs, tights, a light brown coat, pairing them with a pair of white kitten heels. I keep my hair down and exit my room.

    No one else is awake yet, but they will be soon. I start breakfast, making pancakes for all of us.

   Cecy exits her bedroom, wearing jeans and a shirt that says: "Reading is Sexy." True. I politely smile and wave at her.

   "Morning!" I say, adding that fake cheerfulness that everyone just loves to hear.

   "Good morning," She greets back softly. "Pancakes? You really do keep us well fed."

    I chuckle softly and we talk for a bit, engaging in random conversation. Soon after, Glyn, Ava and Annika all enter respectively. Annika bounces into the room, taking a seat on the island with the other girls.

    "Good morning!" She says. "Ooh! Pancakes! Yum! Want me to help?"

    "Oh, it's alright. Thank you, though." I reply, it's a sweet offer but no one touches the cooking zone. I know these people are extremely clean, blah, blah, blah. I can't. No one touches it.

     "Oh, come on!" She gets up and before I know it, grabs the pan and attempts to flip the pancake with just it, landing it on the counter.

      I squeak. Don't panic. It was just a mistake. Oh God, she grabbed my pan. The uncooked pancake is on the counter. The batter is gonna go everywhere. What if I can't clean it well enough. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. My hand clenches into a fist, nails digging into my palm. The batter is on the counter. It's on the counter.

     "Allie!" Glyn's voice breaks me out of my thoughts, my three childhood friends look at me with concern, probably knowing the chaos that's going on in my head right now.

    "Do you want us to help clean?" Ava asks, cautiously.

     "No, thank you, though. Um, just go sit somewhere else, please." I say.

      Before leaving Annika turns to me with an apologetic and somber face. "Oh, I'm so so so sorry, Alicia! It was an accident! I'll never step foot near the kitchen again!"

     I force a soft smile and nod. "Really, it's okay. An honest mistake." I reply. She relaxes, seemingly happy I'm not angry and leaves me be.

    The day is finally over. I exit the building where my photo shoot was taking place and slump in the car. It's so hard to always be so happy. Especially when you rarely feel it.

    It's an emotion I've gotten used to faking, I never want people to worry so why give them a reason to? Everything about me is real, except most of the smiles I give out.

     Oh, right. The day isn't over yet. I have dinner with Vaughn. He DM'd me around 12, asking if I'd like to have dinner and I accepted. No harm, no foul.

    So, time to go home and get ready for dinner with Vaughn Morozov.