BLACK & RED | NATASHA ROMANOFF X READER | MARVEL

23

After storming out, I shut the door behind me.

I leaned against the cold wall, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. But the anger and frustration were still coursing through my veins, making my heart pound and my hands shake.

I knew Natasha was going to follow me, and sure enough, a few moments later, I heard the door opening again and her footsteps approaching me. I didn't look up right away, still trying to gather my thoughts and compose myself.

"Alana!" She called out then approached me. She was clearly upset, but she was trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Alana, look at me," she said firmly, her voice a bit more commanding. "We need to talk about what just happened in there."

I opened my eyes and looked at her, my expression guarded. I could see the anger and confusion on her face, the way her jaw was set and her eyebrows were drawn together. But there was also concern there, and a hint of hurt, "What the hell was that?" she asked, her voice rising slightly, "You stormed out."

I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain, "I couldn't take it anymore."

Natasha's expression hardened as I spoke, and her voice took on a steely edge. "Don't give me that crap," she said, her tone firm. "You owe me an explanation, Alana. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Nat..." I started, my voice shaky. "You don't understand..."

"Don't!" Natasha cut me off, her voice rising again. "Don't you dare give me that bullshit, Alana. Don't try to weasel your way out of this. I want an explanation, and I want it now. Whatever secrets you've been keeping, whatever truth you've been hiding, I need to know. For fucks sake! Im your girlfriend, I deserve to know out of everybody!"

"He's right." I sighed, "I didn't run into you avengers by accident. New Hydra knew you guys would be there. Looking for Project Al. And they made sure I was stationed there. Ready to get caught. Ready to infiltrate.."

Natasha's expression hardened as I spoke, her eyes wide with shock and hurt. "So you've been lying," she repeated, her voice filled with disbelief and anger. "You've been deceiving us all this time? Was any of this even real?" I could see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes.

"Of course it's real," I said, my voice cracking with emotion. "I never betrayed you. I could never bring myself to."

"But you were planning it, weren't you?" the hurt and anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface. "You lied to me. You never told me the truth about who you were, either. How am I supposed to trust you now?"

I grab her hand, "you can trust me, Tasha."

She snatches her hand back from me, "I don't know." She scoffs, "What did he mean about you being a 'ticking time bomb?' A 'loose cannon?' What did he mean when he said your 'experiments weren't for nothing?' What are you!" She shouts.

"I'm always going to be apart of Hydra! No matter if it's under SHIELD, under New Hydra or anything else! There will always be a chip in my brain that belongs to them!" My voice broke as I continued, "They experimented on me, Natasha. They turned me into something I didn't want to be. Using their 'magic' stones, using their technology. I was nothing but a weapon. And no matter how hard I try to escape it, that part of me is always there. I'm trying to fight it, to be better, to be one of you. But it's not easy constantly fighting a battle with myself every morning. To not turn back to my 'factory' settings."

I could see the conflict in her eyes as she struggling to process what I was telling her. She had grown up in the Red Room, being trained and manipulated her whole life. I hope she out of all people would understand.