Your Secret

Questions

HELLO....after 27 years !!! I'm back !!!

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I hear banging on my room door, causing my to spring up and fly toward my door. Pulling it open to see Jisung having a plate with a burnt toast and an egg.

"What the fuck?" We're the only words I managed to get out. I was still waking up, and the situation was confusing as hell.

"I made you breakfast.." He pushes the plate towards my chest. Motioning for me to take it. I let go of the door and grab the plate with one hand. "I know I teased you a little too much last night— so.. don't shut yourself away, alright?"

I could feel my heart swell a little, he was so considerate, it hurt. I give him a smile and set the plate down on the shelf next to the door, pulling him in for a short hug. "Thank you for breakfast, hanji." I felt his smaller arms wrap around me, and we hugged for a little while. I pulled away, and grabbed the plate once more. I walk to the living room, setting down my plate and sitting down. "Did you already eat?"

He shakes his head no as he sits beside me. Relaxing deep into the couch. I decide to make him breakfast as a thank you. I quickly stand up and rush to the kitchen before he has time to question my actions. I toast some bread and butter it. Putting some avocados on the slices. I trot back with the plate, placing it in front of him.

"That was really fast..." he says. His words make me chuckle for some reason. "I had to hurry before you told me no." He rolled his eyes and laughed. Taking a bite and leaning his head back. "Damn this is good!" He shouts.

I nod and take a bite of the slice he made for me. Suprised it doesn't taste that bad. "Wow, this isn't half bad." He glares at me, not taking it as a compliment. "That's a good thing!" I say trying to convince him. We sit in comfortable silence while we eat. Once we're done I start to think back to last night. I feel terrible about what I did.. but he teased me first.. I look over at him and see him staring at the wall. I want to blame him. He started acting that way... yet.... I'm positive he was just playing around.. why would I act like that!? Ugh!

I continue to argue with myself in my head. Not noticing him looking over at me with a confused face. "Are you okay?" He finally speaks up. "What— oh.. yeah I'm fine sorry.. it's just... last night I—" before I can say anything else Jisung interrupted.

"I'm sorry. Really, I mean. I didn't take into consideration how far that was going— I know we tease and flirt for fun... but that was to much.." he speaks with a hint of disappointment in his voice. Leaving room to question if he's sorry about what he did, or the fact of what happened after.

"It's fine Jisung... I just wanted to apologize.. for um.. yeah." Never in a hundred years will I ever say I had masturbated to my best friend. Ever. "Don't worry about it, it's nothing." I push my thoughts down and try to calm my cheeks that are slowly heating up.

Jisung examines me, and it makes me shiver. I don't know what he's doing, but I don't like it. I stand up and grab my empty plate along with his. Stacking them on top of each other and bringing them to the sink to clean.

I let out a deep breath and clear my thoughts, deciding to focus on the dishes. For some reason my mind wandered to how I was supposed to be interrogating Jisung. But, as I've tried to look deeper into it... things keep happening..

I finish the dishes and put them away, washing my hands after I do. I turn around and see Jisung watching the TV, I guess he got comfortable. I lean on the counter, getting inside my head again. I already asked him to tell me the secret.. and he said not until later.. which could mean years.. fuck.

I ruffle my hair and stare at him. Thinking if I look at him hard enough the secret will just fall come out of him or something. I feel frustrated. I decide to walk to my room to cool down. I sit on my bed, and bring my hands up to my head. Something is definitely up with him, and now something's up with me. Something about sexuality.. something about now being not the right time... is he gay? Why would he need to hide that from me? Do the other members know?

All the sudden an idea clicked on in my head. Changbin. He's always around him if he's not with me. I text Changbin to meet up at a cafe we enjoy immediately. I hurrily put on a better looking outfit and some slide on shoes. I grab my phone and rush to the door. "I'll- uh... I'll be back Jisung..!" I say before shutting the door behind me. Running down our dorm steps and out to my bicycle.

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As I arrive I notice Changbin waiting by the entrance with his motorcycle helmet. I trot up to him and get his attention. "Hey."

"Hey? Why did you need me here like.. immediately?" He asks, concerned.

"I have some questions I need to ask, about Jisung." I stand up straight, ready for some defensiveness.

"Alright." He says and walks right in. I blink a few times, surprised he was so cooperative. I follow him in and sit down across from him. Looking through the menu I could almost drool. I decide to just get coffee and some pudding. Changbin getting coffee and a croissant.

"So.... Ask away." He says, setting the menu to the side. I swallow any nervousness in my throat, feeling unprepared for any answers I may get.

"So... jisungs been acting a little strange lately, and I can't get anything out of him.. it's becoming confusing and I really need to know so it's not as.. akward? Anymore.. I was hoping he'd have told you something since you're really close too.." I fiddle with my fingers as I speak, looking up to Changbin across from me.

Changbin sighs, folding his arms and leaning back into the chair. "I'll say this, I know something he doesn't want you knowing. For now at least. He needs to make sure of something, and I'd be willing to help him since you're here. But that's up to you." He finishes and the waiter comes over with our order, setting it down and bowing.

As she walks away, I sit upright and place my hands on the table. "Yes. To whatever. I need to know." Changbin smirks at me, which makes me kick him under the table.

"I'm sorry.." he says with a pouting face.

"Just tell me or ask me whatever." I say grabbing my spoon and taking a bite of my pudding.

Changbin sighs, and sips some of his coffee. "How do you feel about different sexualities?"

My eyebrows furrow. It's the same question Jisung had asked that night when he was drunk. Maybe I really was right about him being gay..

"I'm fine with it, they do them I do me. I'm not going to dislike someone based on their preferences." I say firmly, taking a sip from my coffee.

Changbin nods, "alright, and what about you? What are you?"

I blink a few times. Normally I'd answer right away, I know what I am. But, as of lately..

"I.. don't know..." I say a little quieter, embarrassed that I'm not sure. "Hey, it's fine not to know." He says, "that just leaves room for you to find out with tests and experiments!" He nodded, putting a finger up.

"Anyhow, thanks for telling me about all that." He stands up, pushing his chair in. "I'll make sure to report this to Jisung, so expect some different actions or words soon!" He smiles and waves leaving me in the cafe.

"Different?" I question. I came to him for some closure on the idea, and now I'm just more confused.. 

End chapter 6

WHEEEEEEW.. IM SOOOO SORRY FOR SUCH A LATE AND SMALL UPDATE :( PLEASE EXPECT BETTER FROM NOW ON !! I HAVE PPENTY MORE FREE TIME NOW AND AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER !! ALSO THANK YOU FOR READING AS ALWAYS PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME (ㆀ˘･з･˘)