Im going 2 be posting fanart/OCs from my sketchbook on here! (all my ocs are goofy, but so am i so it checks out) i dont do digital art (YET)
This will also be a random posting thing for stuff like updates, things about me, vents, politics, etc
I have a set of moral rules in the belief system that I live by, and one of those listed rules is:
"Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them."
If you are not 100% sure that you want to hear me vent, then I insist that you not read this. I don't want anyone to read this at the expense of their own mental health. Take care of yourself before trying to comfort me. YOU should be your top priority.
Trigger warnings include: (r*pe and manipulation)
Anyways, uhm
I want to just disappear, I feel so terrible
Situations that my mother put me in, causing me to lose friends, making people think I'm the worst person ever, gaslighting me and guilt tripping me to make me think what she wants me to think, lying to others about me and keeping me away from my friends to isolate me. She wants total control over me.
I haven't really told anyone about what happened on the trip I took a couple weeks ago, but it's taken such a toll on my mental health.
Here's a bit of a backstory about the trip my family took:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
His mother, she trusted me. She's the sweetest person ever. She was willing to turn her son in to the police because she believed me, she saw me. But then my mom told everyone that I was lying about it, and she gaslit me into thinking that I "asked for it". I felt so guilty, I felt like I was the worst person ever because I truly believed that I did something wrong.
The way his mother looked at me. That look in her eyes, the disappointment, like I was the most terrible person in the world. She thinks I lied.
On top of all of that, my mom's been keeping me so busy, school and studying is already so overwhelming. She makes me take care of her four other kids, clean the house, do the shopping, do the cooking, and she volunteers me for work without asking me first. (I never get paid or rewarded either)
Being so constantly busy has made me lose so many friends and now my bf wants nothing to do with me. I don't have time to relax, I don't have time to do anything. I'm crying so hard rn. I can't fucking take this anymore.
She's taken so much away from me. I want to be a normal kid, I want my childhood back, I want friends.
Omg, my childhood. I couldn't ever enjoy just being a kid, I still can't. I want to join a sports team, I want to go to summer camp, I want to be in a club, I want to hang out with friends on weekends, I want sleepovers.
I want my dad back, I want him here, why did he have to fucking die? I want to spend time with my dad, I want him to take me fishing or play catch with me like a father and son would. I want him to teach me how to tie a tie, how to cut my hair and shave my face, how to be chivalrous, how to fix a flat tire, how to climb a tree, how to fix things. I want him to call me a name that any other father would call their son, like "buddy" or something.
I want a better mom. I want to be supported, I want to feel safe.
