GHOST - No Man's Land

/CHAPTER 20

♫ Amber Run - I found ♫

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[Ghost]

I thought of Tommy the whole way back. Of Tommy, of Beth, little Joseph. I thought of mum and the glass sculptures she collected. I thought of the sun refracting through them as they stood posed on the window sill. 

I thought of the light illuminating my father's cigarette smoke. The face I'd erased from my memories. His face. The first person I'd failed. 

All of them dead. All of them because of me. 

Not caring about anyone since had been easy. Easier, at least, than trying to mend the holes torn in my soul from their loss. 

I cared for Johnny, of course. I cared for Price, Gaz, the men in my own squads during missions. I would lay down my life for them. But even they hadn't breached the wall I'd built around my heart. 

The wall I felt cracking with each step I took through the dense Peruvian jungle. 

The wind rushed in my ears. My rifle laid somewhere in the mud where I left it, in the outskirts of Tachado. Emptied. Surrounded by a dozen bodies. 

I hadn't even registered mowing them down until the thing clicked empty and I had a limp woman in my arms. 

I risked a glance down at her pale face. Her head lulled against my vest with each step I took. Mud stuck to the side of her face, her hair. Blood caked on her hand where she kept it loosely against the bullet wound. 

Blood staining her shirt a deeper shade. 

I'd failed her. 

I had one job. To keep her alive. Safe, living, breathing. The bare minimum. And I failed. The guilt was already eroding my conscious at every side, but I pushed it down and used the anger it generated to run faster. 

The trip didn't feel this long on the way here. I couldn't tell how long I'd been running for. Branches tore at my clothes, ripping the fabric. Leaves and foliage slammed in my face as I barged through. 

I needed to make it. I needed to get her back in time. 

She already hung so limply in my grip. Blood draining further from her face with each passing second. 

My heart nearly lept against my ribcage once I broke through the clearing and the steel door came into view. It didn't take long for the rusty metal to screech in response as someone opened the door from the inside. Someone must have been manning the camera's. 

Every moment felt like an eternity. Blurry as the clock ticked, the doors opened further, and I met Price's inquiring face, which quickly morphed to panic. Not noticing as he pried her from my hands, the lifting weight enough to make me collapse to the floor. 

Knees hitting the concrete. Noticing, to some extent, as Johnny concerned himself over me. The other two disappearing down the dark hallway. The sunlight only stretched so far into the base, I realized, as I looked down at my hands and saw them stained with red. 

The sight was enough to snap me back to earth. 

''Ghost, man, what happened?'' Johnny's voice was filled with so much concern it nearly made me sick.