Horkit (COTE)

Huge, hilarious history of pettiness

It was now the end of the school day and I had to meet up in a secluded cafe along with Hirata, Karuizawa, Kushida, Ike, Sudo, Yukimura, Ayanokoji, and a couple of other side characters as well to discuss our plan for the upcoming paper shuffle test like I said in class earlier.

As we gathered around a large table in the dimly lit cafe, I could just feel the anticipation and skepticism, although mostly the ladder, radiating from my classmates. Hehe~. The cafe was quiet, the perfect place for plottin'!

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We all sat at a large round table, about to start the meeting. All eyes are on me as I sat seriously with my dramatic +1000000 aura flaring in the air. I had my elbows on the table with my fingers tented like a supervillain. I began to talk in a deep, manly voice. "Ladies. Gentlemen. We are all gathered here today to discuss something important." I lifted my head slightly and looked at everyone in an intense gaze. "So...I have this important question I have to ask everyone. who is the impostor among us~!"

There was a collective groan around the table. Ike looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh, while Karuizawa facepalmed, shaking her head. Kushida leaned in, a polite smile on her face, while Hirata and Sudo exchanged exasperated glances.

"Suzune," Yukimura said, clearly unamused. "You gathered all of us here to discuss the plan on how to succeed in the upcoming paper shuffle test."

I held my pose for a moment longer before dropping the act, a grin spreading across my face. "Fine, fine. You caught me. But we do need to talk strategy. And maybe a little bit about intergalactic backshots. But mostly strategy."

"Yea-wait, what?!" Ike blurted out, doing a double take.

"Suzune, can we please just focus on the paper shuffle test?" Hirata asked, trying to maintain some semblance of seriousness. Poor him.

Karuizawa shook her head, muttering under her breath, "Remind me why we made you our class leader again?"

Ignoring their reactions, I leaned forward, my expression suddenly turning serious. "Alright, here's the real plan. The paper shuffle test is designed to test our individual weaknesses, right? So, we're going to flip the script. We'll identify the toughest questions, create mock versions, and practice them until they're second nature. But that's not all..."

I paused, letting the suspense build. Everyone leaned in a little, waiting for the inevitable twist.

"And...?" Yukimura prompted, clearly bracing himself.

"And... we're going to insert a few completely ridiculous, out-of-pocket questions into our mock tests—just to keep everyone on their toes. It'll help us deal with distractions and keep our focus sharp under pressure. For example, we can ask them...if they were rewarded 1000 points for a dick they suck, how much blowjobs are they giving?"

The room erupted with a mix of exasperation and disbelief.

"Ah. There's the weird and crazy twist."

"Yeah, because of course there was one."

"I knew it was too good to be true..."

"Seriously, Suzune?" Hirata rubbed his temples, looking like he was about to have an existential crisis.

Yukimura buried his face with his hands, looking utterly done with my bullshit. "We're never reaching Class B, are we...?" He said. Notice how he said Class B instead of Class A? Well, long story short is that...no one wants to be Class A anymore. Why? Well, that's gonna be a long and crazy story I'll tell y'all some time later.