Finding all the Good Graces

CH.4: Wounded and Damaged

Cecilia's PoV

I'll be going back to work today. This, however, means that I have to leave Jack' side. I'll need to have a clearer mind, so I head to the gym for half an hour. I will adjust my time bit by bit as i get used to everything. 

It feels like my very first day at work. I do not know how my day will be, and I am too afraid to leave Jack behind. He and I have been glued together for four months. I had a long break, maybe because I knew my business would run successfully without me being there.

Before I leave, Mrs. Harness assures me for the hundredth time, or so, that Jack will be just fine. She says it is a necessary adjustment for the both of us. So I leave for work telling myself that I have to sacrifice a few hours. 

The first day is strange. When I get there, everybody is busy with work.

Having informed Beatrice that I would be returning to work, she is my assistant and she sits at the front office, since it is a small organization, She buys flowers; lilies, and places then on the front desk and in my office. 

I hired her mainly because she is a thoughtful young lady. She communicates well with my clients and knows her way through beauty services and all the products involved. She assures my clients that their wellbeing is the company's priority.

At first I find it hard to shake off the fact that Jack isn't with me, but as my clients begin to flow in, all the appointments I had given my other employees, I get my head to work, and although I have moments where my mind goes back to Jack, I can proudly say that this is a successful day. During my lunch break, I call home to inquire about Jack and as usual Mrs. Harness is quite supportive and understanding of my situation.

I have just one more client before I head home.

 I complete everything within an hour and head home, leaving everyone else to their work. It is three o'clock by the time I get home. Jack is asleep so I decide to take a long bath after checking on him.

The rest of the evening is spent cuddling with the little man.

This becomes my everyday routine, and sometimes I go on dates with the girls. However, since I am too attached to Jack, I can barely loosen up as the girls have constantly pestered me to. I guess I take my responsibilities too seriously, or am simply paranoid and afraid that I could lose Jack too if I lost myself in who I used to be. The woman I am today is too reserved and cautious. I stay awake sometimes, unable to sleep because I feel myself fading away. My happiness, the hope I hold on to, everything is leaving. As if am simply a hollow object, I can feel my body but not anything inside of my being.

I am happy, or so I think. Away from Jack, I feel like an object, emotionless, but when I am around him, I can feel my heart beat, I feel alive again. So I spend as much time with him as possible.

Time flies too fast, Jack is growing too fast too. I can't believe he is six months old. He sits, grabs onto things and makes a lot more noise than he used to.

I decided to stay home today, well, because it is mothers' day, and because I rescheduled my appointments. I am feeling emotionally exhausted. So I stay in bed till 11am.  Knowing that Mrs. Harness is taking care of everything helps me take a break.

I get up eventually, take a baths and put on some loose cloths, then head to the kitchen to grab a bite. 

Jack is playing in the leaving room. I glance at him slightly and when I turn my head away, I can sense something amiss, so I look back immediately. He is pulling at the floral transparent table cloth that Mrs. Harness brought by claiming it would brighten the table holding Mick's trophies.