Fire On Fire

33.The Hug of Death

When Amara left King's Landing she kissed her nephews and niece on the head and took her children, while writing word to James of their travel to Dragonstone.

It was bittersweet, leaving King's Landing but Amara knew it was for the better. She was unpacking her things when one of her maids brought her a letter. She thanked her maid and opened the rolled-up paper. She read the letter once and then reread it to make sure she knew she read what she thought.

She could barely move. Within the letter were the words that her husband had died in a fire at Harrenhal. She felt terrible that her first thought was that she was finally free of him. But after that first thought, she felt a rush of new ones. She wondered how she'd tell the kids. She wondered what her life would be like without her husband. Amara didn't know what to do. She breathed heavily, placing her hand on her sternum to steady herself tears filled her eyes but she did not cry. Her heavy breaths turned into laughter.

Amara hated it. She hated that all she could think of was how free she was without him. She hated that her children would have to live without a father. She hated that she was laughing about it. Most of all she hated that she loved the irony of it all. All her life she was told she had more of a chance of dying before her husband, in childbirth, and now he died before her.

Her moment of peace was short-lived. Amara had started to clear her eyes when her children came through her doors, ready to have story time with their mother. Amara got control of herself before her children could notice she wasn't acting normal. She hid the letter in the front of her dress. As the children readied themselves, Amara sat down on the ground. Her children all sat in front of her, eagerly waiting for her mother to start her delightful stories of the Targaryen history, instead, they were met with a nauseating look from their mother. Even though Amara tried not to show it, her children knew something was wrong. She started to tell them and saw the look on their faces. She sighed, "There was a fire..." She gulped, "at Harrenhal..." The kids knew. Without further words, they knew something had happened to James. Even poor Rosalie knew. The children started to cry, even Cassius. As Amara continued to try and explain their father's death, she began to weep, not for her late husband but for her children. "H-he could not withstand his w-wounds." Amara did not say anything else she just leaned into her children and spread her arms. They all embraced their mother sobbing into her.

It hadn't even been a week after the death of Amara's husband when she got a worse report. Her children had just started to laugh again. Amara was finished readying herself for the day when Elias brought her a letter. She stared down at the Velaryon seal. She had hoped it was a letter from Laena. She opened the letter eagerly but instead of reading Laena's usual greeting, she read a more formal greeting, and then the words below it crushed her. She fell to her knees, dropping the letter and weeping. Laena was dead. Amara tried her best to breathe but it felt as though her lungs were filling with water. She felt like she could stop breathing at any moment. Laena, her best friend, who she treated like her child, was now dead. Besides crying Amara couldn't do anything else. Her entire body felt numb. She was so numb she didn't even ear the knocks at her door.

When Elias opened the door he saw the lady he was sworn to protect on the floor in total disarray. Frightened, he ran to Amara, not remembering who was behind him. Elias knelt down to Amara and checked her for injury, continusly asking her if she had been harmed. Amicia peeked into the door and panicked when she saw her mother. Just like Elias, Amicia ran to Amara, instantly wrapping her arms around her mother. Amicia may not have known what was wrong but she knew her mother needed it.