XO (Only If You Say Yes)

07 - Going insane

Daydreamin' - Ariana Grande

{Heeseung}

What is this feeling?

Why does it feel genuine?

Am I going crazy?

Am I-

"Lee Heeseung!" The teacher calls out, "Focus, please! I don't want to send you to the office this year." She complains before turning back around.

I set my head down, hesitant to pick up my pencil. The only thing on my mind these past few days is the feeling that I feel around Jake. I try to ignore it, but it just grows stronger.

Everytime I tried to act like I had feelings, it was when I was playing with those girls. But, this feels pure. No doubts, no nothing. If someone can tell me what I feel, please do.

I lift my head up and pick up my pencil. Looking up at the blurry screen, I could barely focus. The thoughts consuming me are making me shake. It can't be that serious, right?

Wrong.

The only thing I thought about in class was Jake. What made him so special and why do I have to feel it now? Those notes that he was reading on the bus? Yeah, those were from me. Only because Yeonjun pressured me into writing them.

Worst part is that I have math with both of them. It's gonna be hard trying to control myself around them.

As the bell rang, I immediately stood up, grabbing all my supplies and walking out the door. I don't want to waste anymore time. I need to see him.

"Hey Jake!" I smile as I sit down, placing my bag on the floor. "Want a piece of gum?" I ask, reaching into my bag.

Jake looks up at his paper and smiles, "Yeah, sure. I'd like that." He holds out his hand as I drop the piece onto it. He pops it into his mouth and chews.

Why is he so attractive when he does that?

"Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem..."

—

"Heeseung, you okay? You seem to be spacing out a lot." Jungwon asks, walking beside me as we head to the cafeteria.

"Mhm, I'm good. Just overthinking school, you know?" I chuckle nervously, "But hey, at least it's lunch."

As we approach the group, Sunghoon is clinging onto Sunoo as if he's gonna disappear. "Hoon, I'm sick." He sneezes, "I don't want to get you sick as well."

"I don't care!" Sunghoon pouts, "I just missed you." He kisses the top of his head, Sunoo leaning into the touch.

"Can you guys get any more disgusting? Get a room." Ni-ki complains as he opens his soda can. "Let's go to the table." He grabs Jake's wrist as he walks away.

I feel a pang of jealousy as Ni-ki touches him, but I try my best not to show. I settle down next to Jake and Jay, causing myself to space out again.

You can already guess what I was thinking about.

I told myself that I would focus on my studies, but he's distracting me. I always thought I would do better at balancing things, but I guess not.

"Hey Heeseung babe..." I heard a female voice coming behind me, so I turned around. "You know, I've been watching you for the past few school years... And I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?"

Her voice was sweet like honey, she was pretty, and she had a nice body. But I knew better. I've changed.

"Sorry, I don't want to."

Her eyes widened and she gasped... more dramatically than it should be. "How dare you? You'll regret this, Lee Heeseung." She storms off to her friend group and starts sobbing.

I didn't think too much of it.

"So, this is what you popular kids have to deal with everyday?" Jake asks, tilting his head. "Must be pretty hard." He chuckles.

"Yeah, it is..."

I turn to Jay and next thing you know, he's covering Jungwon in kisses. "Ew, get a room!" I yell, covering my eyes.

"Sorry! I can't help it!" Jay smiles, making Jungwon giggle.

"You know what? I'm sitting with Yeonjun for the day." I said sternly, getting up and walking to Yeonjun's table.

Yeonjun looks up and grins, "Hey Hee, you okay? You seem pretty mad." The other 4 turn their head towards me, all with confused faces.

"Hyung...? Who's that?" The youngest one asks fearfully, I assume that he's a freshman. "Is he gonna hurt us?"

Beomgyu shakes his head, "He's not. Don't worry, Kai. He's just another one of our friends. His name's Heeseung."

Kai nods, looking less scared.

"Guys, I need to talk to you. It's about Jake."

Taehyun raises his eyebrow, "Jake? What about him?"

I sit down, trying to process every feeling I've felt around him. I told them every single detail, none left out. "I think I'm going insane."

Soobin looks at me with a straight face, sighing and placing a hand on my shoulder. "You, my friend, are going insane." He says as he stares into my eyes.

"Thanks for the reassurance Soobin. I'm leaving." I groaned, getting up once again and opening the courtyard door. I needed a breath of fresh air from all this thinking.

I sit down on the bench and take a deep breath. Why was he on my mind all the time and what am I feeling? This isn't normal for me, like at all.

Maybe Soobin was right.

Maybe I am going insane.

(NOT PROOFREAD)

hi

short chapter ik

be grateful pls im pushing my limits