In Love With My Gay Best Friend

Chance at Love

Ever since yesterday, I was all kinds of confused. First, Ryan tells me he is gay after 6 years.. a stranger out of no where comes up to me. He was fucking ugly too. And oh my god his fucking hair... SUPER LONG.

I opened up my window and knocked on Ryan's window.

"Ryan!" I shouted, "Is he even home?"

Ryan opened up the window, his pretty face glows in the sunlight.

"Oh yay! You are home. I thought you weren't home or something. Usually you would open up immediately. Ha.." I giggled.

"Ha.. yeah. Sorry about that. I was changing." Ryan said.

"But most of the time you were like half naked." I laughed.

"Yeah.. but this time I was fully." He laughed, "I was taking a shower before you knocked."

"Oh, I see." I giggled.

"So who was the guy you were with today?" he asked.

"Oh him. Oh god, I don't know. Some guy with the WORST haircut ever. I was so disgusted. He just randomly came up to me out of no where. I was about to panic until you came. Thank you.. by the way.." I said.

"No problem I saw how upset you were today and I'm sorry.. for not telling you after all this time." Ryan apologized.

"But why..? Why did you keep it from me this entire time?" I asked, "Am I the only one that knows?"

"No.. my parents knew." he said, "And your parents as well."

For being his friend pretty much most of his life... this is the one secret I never knew. Was he afraid I was just like everyone else? And that being gay isn't okay? Does he think I'm going to treat him differently? Why was it that I am the last one to know?

"Wait so, someone else knew before your best friend. I thought coming out to your parents was the most hardest thing someone could do? And yet I was the one to know last! Even my own fucking parents knew and hid it from me... Do you not even trust me?" I started to cry.

"See.. I knew this would happened. Please don't be mad because I am like this." Ryan said.

"Seriously? You think I am mad because your gay? I am mad because I-" I still couldn't say it, "I'm mad because you don't trust me!" 

I closed my window slowly... Then I and began to cry, god I'm such a wimp. Why am I crying like this?

"Stupid... I'm mad at myself... because I'm in love with you." I wept.

Finally morning came around...

I wasn't able to sleep to all. I got ready for school and everything, but I left before Ryan. And I also took the long way to school.. Just because. It's so hard for me to do this... to fall in love, it always happens to me. Even before I fell in love with Ryan. I liked a few guys, but in the end.. they all fell for another girl. Even though I was there for them at all times. It makes no sense.

For instance, Devin the lasted boy I liked. In 8th grade, he was so popular. So cool, of course everyone fell for him at some point, but for me it was kinda different but um.. we had to do an assignment together. Our teacher set us up together. And at first I was like 'Ugh out of all people, why this guy?' Because he was so popular, it just annoyed me. But then, as we gotten to know each other, he was so sweet, and kind.

He even told me 'You were the first person I have shown this side of myself.' And it made me feel special. And so.. I fell in love with him for a entire 8 months and we became almost good friends. But then.. I walked into the library, way in the back to get a book. I saw him, Devin was with another girl and said 'You were the first person I have shown this side of myself.' And that was when I fell into pieces. I dropped my books and ran away.

I vowed not to fall in love but, that same day.. I got kidnapped. And that same day Ryan saved me. And I fell in love with him, that very day.

I started to cry once again. Jesus Ava you're such a cry baby and so I stopped walking

"Out of all people it's always me.. who never got a chance at love.." my voice cracked, "Everyone I have ever loved, never loved me back.."

"Probably because you haven't found your true love.." someone said.

"Ryan!?" I said, but I turned around and it wasn't him.. it was 'Alex'.

"I don't think that's my name, now is it?" he said.

"I don't want to talk, besides. Why are you even following me? It's creepy." I said.

"Well, this is the way I go to school." he said.

"What?" I said, but this is the way to my.. no.. don't tell me he..

"I go to your school." he smirked.

"Oh my god, this is even worse. Can you just like I don't know get the fuck away from me? And maybe a damn haircut." I yelled.

"I thought you wanted a chance at love? So why don't I give it to you?" he said.