Ruthless 🗡️/ Fourth Wing

Chapter~37

I gasp awake, the sharp intake of air burning my lungs as my body convulses in panic. My breath comes out in desperate, ragged bursts, each one more painful than the last, as if the very air around me is suffocating me. The weight of the cuffs biting into my wrists and ankles feels like the grip of iron chains, unyielding and merciless, dragging me back into the cruel reality of my imprisonment. The poison in my veins is alive, an insidious, writhing thing that spreads through me like wildfire, and my body shudders violently with every pulse of agony the memories and hallucinations will kill me.

The world spins in a chaotic blur, tilting and twisting as my vision falters. The familiar sense of nightmare, of losing control, washes over me, and I can't tell if I'm dreaming or awake. The memories I've buried so deep—too deep to remember—are clawing their way back to the surface, raw and jagged. Should have left them buried. Should have—

A sharp, searing pain erupts in my leg, where the blade had struck, the wound now festering, feeding the poison as it spreads. My body goes rigid as I scream, but no sound escapes my lips—just the harsh rasp of my breath, ragged and strained. The pain builds, a vicious fire consuming me from the inside out, and I can feel every nerve screaming for mercy. But mercy is a stranger. The walls around me feel like they're closing in, suffocating me in their cold embrace, and I know—somehow—that they're watching. Watching, even though the shadows have swallowed the room whole.

Please, I can't escape this.

And then, like a crashing wave, it happens. The memories flood in, overwhelming and unstoppable.

Xaden.

The name cuts through me, piercing the suffocating fog in my mind. My heart stutters in my chest, each beat frantic and disorienting. The memories of him—his face, his presence, the way his eyes held secrets I could never quite unlock—they hit me all at once, like a floodgate bursting open. I try to shove them away, to push him back into the dark where I thought he belonged, but it's futile. The longing, the ache in my chest—it's too strong. Too real. I don't want to feel this. Not now. Not when I'm on the edge of breaking.

Tears burn in my eyes, but I squeeze them shut, trying to will them away. Not now. Please, not now.

And then, suddenly, the darkness shifts.

It twists and bends, the shadows warping like smoke, pulling at the edges of my mind. And then, standing in the doorway—a silhouette bathed in the soft light of the room—he's there.

It's him. I know it's him.

My chest tightens painfully, my breath catching in my throat. "Oh my god... you found me..." I whisper, the words spilling out before I can stop them. Desperation clings to every syllable. I reach out toward him, my hands shaking, yearning for the warmth of his touch, the safety I once felt in his presence. My chains rattle as I try to stretch toward him, but they're too tight, too strong.

Xaden steps into the light, his silhouette sharpening into focus, and the intensity of his gaze hits me like a physical blow. The same heat, the same presence that I remember so well, fills the space between us. He's here. He's really here.

But then—there's something different.

His eyes. They're not the same.

They're darker. Colder. There's an unreadable depth in them now, something hard and unyielding that wasn't there before. It's like he's a stranger. A stranger standing in front of me, and yet, his presence is so familiar, so overwhelmingly Xaden.

My heart skips a beat, and my pulse hammers in my ears.

"Beg," he says, his voice low, thick with an authority that cuts through me like a blade.

I freeze. My chest tightens, my breath catching in my throat. "What are you talking about?" My voice cracks, the words coming out hoarse, desperate. "Xaden, please... just—get these off me. Please."

But he doesn't answer right away. Instead, he steps forward, closer—until he's looming over me. His presence fills the room, heavy and suffocating, and it's too much. I can feel it, all of it, that fierce intensity in his gaze, that quiet storm of control swirling in the air around us. He grips my chin—hard—and tilts my head back roughly, forcing me to meet his eyes. My heart races, my chest heaving with the effort to breathe.

I try to pull away, but his grip is iron, unyielding. His touch is different now—harder, colder.

"Beg me, Nora," he repeats, his voice quieter now, but the command in it is unmistakable. It's a command. A demand.

I shudder at the sound of it, the force of his words echoing in my mind. My body trembles, and the poison in my veins burns with each breath. "No," I whisper, my voice barely audible, thick with defiance. "I don't beg."

The smirk that pulls at his lips is cruel—so unlike the boy I once knew. The boy I thought I understood. His eyes gleam, like he's enjoying this, like he's enjoying watching me break.

"Beg me," he commands again, the words now a growl, thick with something darker than I've ever heard from him.

I won't do it. I won't.

"No!" I force out through gritted teeth, shaking my head as I push against the chains, against him. "I do not beg. I won't."

But the hallucination warps then. The air twists around me, warping and shifting like fabric in the wind. My vision falters. The shadows deepen.

And then, a sound. A sharp, mocking clap echoes through the room, and my heart stops cold.

I turn, desperate, my mind reeling, hoping, praying that this time—this time it's real.

And there, standing in front of me, is Kai.

His dark eyes gleam with something sharp, something cold. A smirk twists his lips, and I feel the familiar, suffocating presence of him settle into my chest.

"Marvelous," he says, his voice dripping with amusement. "Of all the people in your miserable little life, it's him you think of?"

I blink, my mind spinning, trying to make sense of it. Kai steps closer, his footsteps slow, deliberate, as if savoring the way I shrink under his gaze. His smirk widens as he crouches down in front of me, his eyes flicking between me and the shadow of Xaden that still lingers in my mind.

"You think he'll come for you?" Kai scoffs, his voice low and dangerous, filled with something dark and poisonous. "Xaden? The boy so wrapped up in his daddy issues that he couldn't see what's right in front of him if he tried?" He chuckles darkly, the sound sending a cold shiver down my spine. "You think he'll come for you? He couldn't save you if he wanted to. But you, Nora—you're nothing but a tool in this game."

I try to push back, but the chains hold me firmly, pressing me down. My legs feel weak beneath me, the poison still swarming in my veins, making my skin burn.

"No," I whisper hoarsely, my throat dry as the words escape. "He will come. He has to."

Kai just laughs, the sound low and bitter. "If you truly believe that, you're more broken than I thought." His voice turns dark, cruel. "But keep dreaming, Nora. Keep clinging to that pathetic little fantasy. Because it's the only thing keeping you from truly breaking."

The sound of his laughter fades, leaving only the pounding of my heart and the pounding in my ears. My head spins, the poison ripping through me, and then, almost too softly to hear, I hear it—the faint sound of footsteps.

Wait.

I turn, my heart hammering in my chest, hoping against everything that this time... this time, it's real.

But when I look, Xaden is gone.

The room is empty again.

"Mīsagon ñuha soul," I whisper into the darkness the diolect of a queen the laungue of the dragons if only they can see me now weak broken and covered in sweat and blood, my voice barely more than a breath, but it's enough.-Protect my soul