Ruthless 🗡️/ Fourth Wing

Fireheart

Dear Xaden

When this letter reaches you, I will already be gone. The decision was not an easy one, and I hope you can find some small piece of understanding in my absence. I cannot say this face-to-face. I wish I could. But the truth is, you cannot know. Not yet.

I wish I had the luxury to explain everything, to hold you close and make you understand why I had to leave. But that would put you in more danger than I could ever allow. I cannot bear that. Not when you've already done so much for me. Not when I've already stolen so many pieces of your heart.

I have left Arrax. I wish there was another way. I wish the bond between us, the bond between him and me, could have been broken, that I could have stayed with you, by your side, and fought with you, the way we always talked about. But I had no choice. There are things bigger than either of us, things that I couldn't have imagined before. The bond between Arrax and me is not just that of rider and dragon. It is... otherworldly. It goes beyond anything human. The ties between us and the dragons cannot be severed without the world itself breaking.

I begged, Xaden. I begged him. I tried to refuse, to find any way to make it work, but the bond between Arrax and me—between the dragons and the Flameborn—runs too deep. It is in our blood, in our souls. And I am not the only one who feels it. He, too, feels it. I had no choice but to follow the call. To answer the dragons' summons.

But it doesn't make it easier. Leaving Arrax behind, leaving you behind, is tearing me apart.

I wish I could make this easier for you. I wish I could make it easier for me. But the truth is, Xaden, I've already fallen too far for you. Too far for any of this to be easy. You have found your way into my heart and soul in ways I never thought possible. You have been my protector, my trainer, my constant. You've shown me strength I didn't know I had. You've loved me when I didn't think I deserved it. I don't know how to thank you for that. I don't know if I could ever show you how much that means.

I am sorry. I am sorry for everything I could never say. I wish I had told you more. I wish I had told you sooner, how much you mean to me. How much I love you. How long I've loved you. Even when I didn't know how to say it, even when I tried to deny it. My heart belongs to you, Xaden, and I never thought I'd have to say it like this. But if I die, if this is the last you hear from me, know that my final thought, my final breath, will be of you.

I don't know how long I'll be gone, or what lies ahead. I don't know what the dragons will ask of me, or what they expect. But I will carry you with me, in my heart, in my thoughts. Even if I never see you again, I will carry you, always.

Please, forgive me. Forgive me for leaving you this way. I never wanted to hurt you. But this—this was something I had to do. For all of us.

With love and sorrow,
Your Fireheart

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July 8th- 5 months later

Dear Xaden,

I know you haven't written to me. I'm not sure what that means—whether you're too busy, or maybe you've just forgotten about me. I've tried not to think about that, but it's hard. So much time has passed, and still, there's this aching emptiness inside of me. I don't know where you are. I don't know what you're doing.

Today is your graduation. I know it's a big day for you, and it pains me more than I can say that I won't be there beside you, cheering you on like I should be. I should have been there. I should have stayed. I should have been with you through all of this. You were the one person who understood me, who made me feel like I wasn't alone in this world.

I wish you nothing but the best, Xaden. I know you'll be great. You always are. You always rise above, no matter the odds. I've seen that in you more times than I can count. And maybe that's why it hurts so much—because I never told you how much I believed in you.

From Nora