The Long Road

Don't Worry, Everything's Fine

To say Steve was exhausted was an understatement. He had laid in bed wide awake all night holding Maddie. He was afraid that if he fell asleep he wouldn't wake her when he was supposed to. If it had just been last night he wouldn't have been so tired, but ever since Maddie had called him sobbing on Tuesday he'd had a difficult time sleeping. Now it was Friday and he knew if he didn't get some soon he'd be of no help to her.

At 7 am, Steve carefully slid from bed, chuckling softly at the little whimpering sounds Maddie made in her sleep from the loss of contact. Walking down the stairs towards the kitchen he brushed at his right knee where he had a pretty good size gash from kneeling in glass. Rubbing his hands on his face in an attempt to wake up he entered the kitchen, on a mission for coffee. By the time he'd figured out the espresso machine it was time to wake Maddie. Once he was sure it was percolating, he jogged back upstairs. Walking into her huge master suite, he approached the white, king sized, four-poster bed. He smiled at the image before him: petite little Maddie snuggled deep in the extra fluffy, pale blue and white down comforter. She looked so small in the massive bed. He figured ten of her would fit comfortably in it. Reaching the lavish bed, Steve sat on the edge. She's always loved to be snuggly, he reminisced as he gently shook her. "Mads."

As she opened her eyes he could see just how exhausted she was. He took in her appearance now that the makeup she'd had on the previous day was gone. Her usual glowing skin was incredibly pale. Her gorgeous, piercing, crystal blue eyes seemed to have lost their sparkle and faded to a dull blue gray. Underneath were dark circles from the lack of sleep. Oh Maddie, he thought. Sure she was small, especially in her gigantic bed, but she looked even more so now. Small and fragile. She looked like she'd break with little effort. He knew it wasn't so, she'd proven that the day before. He knew a lot of what he was seeing could be from the head trauma. However, deep down he knew that wasn't the case. Whatever added stress she'd been under, whatever had her so upset, was weighing on her.

Reaching forward he ran his fingers through her soft, auburn hair, the previous days waves now practically straight. "How do you feel?"

"Eh... tired." He'd noticed the slight roughness to her voice yesterday, however, even though she hadn't used it much since, it was worse. The last few months must've caught up to her, in more ways than one.

"That's normal. Go ahead and go back to sleep," he softly said, continuing to run his fingers through her hair. Her eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. Thinking she was already nearly asleep he bent down and kissed her forehead before getting up and leaving the room.

Hearing her door close, Maddie opened her eyes and brushed her fingertips along the skin where he'd kissed her. She felt so guilty. She had ignored him for months. Months when he'd really needed her. Now, after all that, he was taking such good care of her. She didn't deserve it. I'm such a terrible friend, she thought. She knew she'd been ignoring him for his own safety, but it didn't help alleviate the guilt she was experiencing.

She knew the longer she was in this physically weak state from yesterday's fall, the more Steve would feel he had to take care of her making her feel guiltier. Although she felt terrible Maddie swung her legs over the side of the bed and pulled herself into a sitting position, a maneuver that took almost all her energy. Ugh... I must've fallen hard. Every part of me hurts, she thought. Looking down at her right arm she remembered the IV Malia had hooked up. "This is not going to make me look better," she mumbled to herself. Using her bandaged left hand, she tried carefully pulling the sticky tape from the needle and tubing so she'd be able to remove it. However, the gauge wrap on her hand was making it incredibly difficult. "Screw it!" Using her right hand, she roughly pulled the bandage off. As she got the last bit off she bumped the bottom of her palm against her right hand and hissed in pain. She turned her palm over, and for the first time, saw the deep gash on her palm near the bottom of her thumb and another one closer to her wrist. I really cut the shit out of myself, she mused. Once the pain had turned to a dull throb she roughly went to work on pulling the IV out. I guess I could have been more careful, she thought as she stared at the blood oozing from where her IV had just been. Not wanting to get blood anywhere Maddie quickly rose and headed towards her bathroom on the other side of her room.