The Long Road

What's Going On?

Not sure where to begin Maddie pursed her lips and squinted her eyes in thought. Steve could almost see her mind moving. After a minute he finally said, "Maddie?"

She locked eyes with him at the sound of her name. She had so many questions that she didn't know where to begin. "What time do you need to be at work?" She knew it was a lame starting point, but she figured she'd work her way up to talking about his father.

That was not what Steve was expecting. "That's what's keeping you from going to sleep?" he asked. Maddie said nothing, only waited for the answer. "No work today."

"But it's..." She had to think for a second. The last few days blended together. "...Friday."

"So?"

"Are you not going to work because of me?" she asked, immediately feeling more guilty than she already was. Here she had ignored him, for months, when he'd really needed her only to have him take amazing care of her. I'm a terrible friend, she thought.

"Does it matter?" he responded.

"Yes. I can take care of myself, ya know."

"I never said you couldn't." He sighed. "Look, Mads, don't fight me on this because you're not gonna change my mind. I'm staying here with you. Okay?" He paused before adding, "I'm really worried about you."

Maddie chewed the edge of her bottom lip trying to bite the skin off, a nervous tick that didn't go unnoticed by him. "I'm sorry about yesterday. It had been a long day. I don't know what happened... but I'm alright. Sure, my head hurts, but even Malia said I'm gonna be fine. So, you don't need to worry about me. I'm okay," she attempted to assure him.

"Maddie, I know all that, but that's not why I'm worried." He hadn't wanted to talk about this until she was feeling better, but it looked like they were going to. "I know what happened yesterday... and so do you." At this she averted her gaze, embarrassed. "Hey... look at me." Maddie's eyes returned to him. "Want to tell me what's going on?" he gently asked.

"I don't know what you mean. Nothing's going on," she lied, once again picking the skin of her bottom lip with her teeth.

"Maddie," he sighed.

"What?" she responded innocently.

"Okay, let's start with yesterday," he said. "You passed out, Mads. You fainted."

She looked away again, "I guess so."

"Look at me..." he told her again. When she didn't look back at him, Steve took his left hand and placed it under her chin guiding her face up.

He smiled before continuing. "You've never fainted before. At least that I know of. What happened?" She said nothing as she stared back at him still nibbling her lip. "Maybe it's from not getting any sleep?"

"Who told you that?" Maddie asked.

"No one had to tell me. It's obvious... But, Pete did mention it. What's going on? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"You surprised me. I had no idea I'd be seeing you. That you were even back in Hawaii," she told him. "It had nothing to do with how much sleep I get."

Steve rolled his eyes at her response. "I didn't make you pass out, Maddie. Yeah, you were surprised, but you were exhausted. You could barely speak." He paused before asking again, "What's going on? Why aren't you sleeping?"

Maddie knew she couldn't get away with claiming she didn't know, but there was also no way she was going to tell him the truth. She still had to protect him. She felt bad lying to him, but it was for his own good. She'd only ever really successfully kept a few big secrets from him. One had come out and the other were still safe. Now that he was a Navy SEAL it was harder to hide things from him than it was when they were teenagers, but she'd gotten better at it. She wasn't stupid, she knew she wouldn't be able to keep this from him forever, especially since he wasn't deployed. When he was overseas it was easier to hide things since they couldn't see one another. But, she still had to try. "Unknown sender" had made himself clear. "My schedule's been insane the last few months. It's draining. Haven't you ever been so tired that you're too tired to go to sleep?" she lied.