The Devil Doesn't Bargain | Daerin

12 | Golden Rays and Silent Purrs

𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐏𝐎𝐕

I can't believe I just witnessed Haerin crying.

I've never seen her smile, laugh, or show any emotion other than the cold mask she wears every day. But today, she finally revealed her vulnerable side, and I can't help but wonder what else she's hiding.

She saved my life. If it weren't for her, I might not be here today. I regret what I said to her before my heart attack, because it does matter to her whether I live or die. In my heart, I believe this is all part of God's plan.

Ever since the incident that nearly claimed my life, Haerin has been nothing but soft and tender towards me. She kisses my forehead, holds my hand, and looks at me with sorrowful eyes, as if she will never forgive herself. She bathes me, feeds me, and does everything she never did before.

I am just so thankful. She isn't the devil I once thought she was.

She even told me she'll give me her heart soon, which I completely disagree with. I don't want to live without her. Our story is just starting. I want to spend time with her, get to know her more, even if it means I'll have to die without the transplant. At least I won't live with the guilt of her heart beating inside me.

But I smiled when she told me that because at that moment, I realized how amazing she is. She's more than her pretty face. She's willing to die for me, but I don't want that. I want to live with her.

I want to live with my wife, Kang Haerin.

It's been two days since I've been lying in this hospital bed, hooked up to wires and monitors. Haerin never leaves my side. She took days off from work just for me. We spend the entire day together, even in the quietest moments, watching dramas or her reading my favorite book to me. I play with her hair and kiss her cheek, and she just lets me.

I'm getting better. But how long can I live without the surgery? It feels like my time with Haerin is getting shorter, and it breaks my heart. I can only hope it isn't as short as I fear.

At night, she sings me soft songs, cooing me to sleep and making sure I'm comfortably tucked in before she settles on the sofa. We are lucky that Mittens has an automatic food dispenser and a self-cleaning litter box, so we don't have to worry about her. She'll be fine alone.

Today, on the third day, Haerin has to go back to work. She's the CEO of Kang Corporation, and she can't leave her responsibilities for too long, even though her eyes and body language clearly show she wants to stay.

"Sunshine, do you need anything more?" she asks, already dressed in her black suit with a white shirt and black blazer.

She's done all the routines—bathing me and feeding me breakfast. The hospital food tastes bland as always, but it's what my condition requires.

"For now, no," I answer. "Don't you want to have at least something before going to work? Have breakfast, it's important."

She looks at me with those sad eyes of hers, growing more numb and sorrowful each day. I know she's done things that hurt me, but I don't like seeing her like this. How long is she going to blame herself?

The heart attack was just meant to happen. She did nothing to trigger it. 

Only, she saved my life.

"Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you," she whispers, kissing my forehead longer than she should.

I close my eyes, savoring the warmth of her kiss. When she finally pulls away, I slowly open my eyes, still feeling the lingering comfort of her touch.