"I hate you Buckley, don't you ever forget that"
☼
𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐃 was an unexpected addition to the 118, but everyone seemed glad to have her along. Everyone except fo...
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02. 𝐈𝐓'𝐒𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘𝐓𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋
𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘. She didn't plan on reaching out or even giving them a call. They didn't deserve it, she thought. Besides, Johana never considered them her real family. Her father was a shitty dad to all his kids, and her half-siblings never cared about her. Johana was just some kid that they shared DNA with. There was this nagging feeling, however, that she should reach out to her brother. Every time that feeling arose, she just pushed it down.
Focusing on work was her top priority. Johana had gotten a few shifts under her belt which allowed her to feel more comfortable with the team. As private of a person that she was, she felt herself wanting to open up to them. But, she convinced herself it was a bad idea. The last time she opened up to a team, she got her heart broken. She didn't want to risk getting hurt again and didn't think she was strong enough to open up to a whole new crew of people.
Her captain, Bobby Nash was already growing on her. She liked him a lot, and found herself going to him when she needed. Bobby was always there for her too, which she appreciated. When she came to work for the 118, she was obligated to notify him about her mental health history. Johana had dealt with depression most of her life, but she was medicated and always kept up with taking her medication. No one else except for Bobby knew about her depression and she intended to keep it that way.
There were times at work when she felt herself slipping. She would just get lost inside her own head and had to find her way out. It was dangerous, sometimes, especially if they were on a call, but she had always had it handled.
"It's been a few shifts since you've started," Bobby says, sitting down in his chair. He had called Johana into his office for a chat. She stared at him from across his desk and he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. "I just want to check in on where your head is at."
"In what way?" She questions.
His kind eyes looked down on her. "You seem tired lately and a little out of it."
She blinks and picks at the arm of the chair nervously. "Yeah, I guess I haven't been sleeping the best. I'm just a little stuck in one of those ruts."
"I know what you mean, Jo. And I'm not here to make you talk to me or tell you to go to therapy. I know you're on medication and you are doing great at your job. Just remember that this team is here for you."
It was that last sentence that got to her. "I-I know, Captain. Thank you."
She briskly got up from the chair and exited the office, tears building up in her eyes. Johana kept her head down, not wanting anyone to see. She didn't want them to see her cry. She thought back to the other day when Eddie brought his son Christopher to the station. It was one of the best days of her life and spending time with the kid really brightened her day. Christopher was lucky to have a dad like Eddie.
