Nightmare in hell

Apology tour

[Episode opens with water filling a large pool. Stolaria lays down in a lounge chair beside a tea table under a royal tent in her garden, reading a book with a cup of wine on a table next to her. Blitza appears a little ways away, climbing over the brick wall.]

Blitza: Hello, hello, hello, Stolaria! You have- AH!

[Stolaria takes notice, but scowls at Blitza for the harsh and heartbreaking words he said the night before. She covers her face in her book as Blitza falls into the bushes, climbing out, yanking a carnivorous plant off of biting her foot as she walks up to talk.]

Blitza: You haven't been answering my texts, and I sent you a bunch of funny shit. So, what gives?

Stolaria: I was hoping my lack of "ha ha's" in response to the photos you sent would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now.

Blitza: Oh, come on, Stolaria, we just had a rough night. 'Sides, you always want to hear from me.

[Trying to get his attention, Blitza uses her finger to press down the middle of the book so he and Stolaria would be eye to eye. Stolaria sighs as she closes the book in her hand.]

Stolaria: Blitza. What is it you want?

Blitza: I wanna feel like I'm earning my way to Earth! 'Kay? So get your tight, feathered ass out of that lawn chair and into the bedroom so I can fuck it!

[Blitza climbs on top of Stolaria as she speaks, but the latter does not reciprocate the intentions. Stolaria frowns as she gets out of the chair and moves to the tea table.]

Stolaria: [sarcastically] Wow. Poetry. I'm sure such a statement would have had me swooning by now.

[Blitza was shocked that her usual sexual intentions wasn't working on Stolaria and how Stolaria is now cold toward her.]

Blitza: Uhhh, I- Sh- Yeah, sure that wa- Okay, that was a shitty way for me to say it- But you usually like it when I talk all dirty, and fucky, and shit.

[Stolaria stops in her tracks, and turns her head to scowl at Blitza, the sound effect of a crow cawing being heard.]

Blitza: Come on, we don't do words, we do sex!

Stolaria: As shocking as this might seem, Blitza- [eye twitches] I don't think I'm in the mood to [finger quotes] "do sex" with you. In fact, I don't think I'm even in the mood to do words with you! [walks off] So, how about you respect that?

Blitza: [follows] Oh, come on, Stolaria. you can't mean that. You always love seeing this.

Stolaria: Seeing you right now is hard! I don't want to feel worse than I already do.

[As Stolaria puts down her book, she picks up a folded envelope with the words "You're invited" on it.]

Stolaria: It's bad enough I got an invite to this anti-Blitza party- An honorary invite for being your freshest ex.

Blitza: "Anti-Blitza party"? Who the fuck's behind this?! [reaches for the invitation]

Stolaria: Oh, it's entirely immature. I'd never indulge this nonsense, it's silly.

Blitza: Real silly. [rips invitation out of Stolaria's hand] Real fucking classy.

Stolaria: Kind of them to invite me, though. It might be rude not to make an appearance.

[wanting to get to the bottom of this, Blitza opens the invitation and is shocked to find who it's signed by]

Blitza: Verosika?! Of course, that fucking bitch.

Stolaria: I will say, it's rather concerning you have an entire party devoted to hating you though, Blitza.

Blitza: Oh, please, [gives envelope back] everyone hates me for shitty reasons. [sits at tea table] In the end, everyone's just bitter they couldn't tie this ass down. [puts legs on table] I'm too much imp to simp!