Nightmare in hell

Mission: chupacabras

[Paper thwacking]

IMP File:

Target: Gerardo Velazquez
Location: Small farm outside Tijuana, Mexico
Description: Middle-aged male smells strongly of hay and tequila
Info:
I don't speak whatever language this guy is yappin' in but he keeps making hand motion that makes me think the target must be a real freak

[Blitza, Millie Jack and Moxxie, arrived in Mexico at night.]

Blitza: Alright. Seems like this one's nice and remote. Won't take us to long to-.

[A goat bumps into Blitza, knocking him down.]

Blitza: What the f-.

[Soon the groups are surrounded by goats.]

Blitza: What the fuck are these things?!

Moxxie: I want to say these are earth goats, ma'am.

Blitza: I don't care how great they are, they are in. My. Way!

[Bltzo picks up goats and kick them. They hit the hay barn, the barn and the house. This alerts the man inside the house. Who goes outside to see.]

Gerardo: Que esta pasando!? (What's going on?) Que carajo!? (What the Hell)

[Gerardo seen the Imps killing his goats.]

Moxxie: Nice! Easy, easy goats! Easy!

Jack: oh mierda

Gerardo: El Chupacabras!

Jack: espere senor, no pretendemos hacerle ningun dano no espere eso es mentria. (Wait sir we don't mean you any harm no wait that's a lie)

[Gerardo grabs his rifle and fires at them. Blitza appears from under the goat pile, wearing one of them like a costume]

Blitza: Shit! Scatter.

Jack: hijo de puta! (Son of a bitch)

[Gerardo fires at them, as Imp escape. Blitza jumps on a goat to escape while shooting at the man, while the goat struggles to move due to Blitza trying to ride it like a horse and a goat IS NOT a horse... Crazy, I know.]

Blitza: Run, you stretched asshole!

[The goat gets crashed by Blitza weight and she gets hit by a shoe by the farmer's wife.]

Mrs. Velaquez: Pendejo que te voy a arrancar la cabeza- (You IDIOT, I'm gonna tear your fucking head off-) la Chupacabra de mierda esta... (piece of shit Chupacabra...)

Blitza: Ay caramba, he brought the big guns. Come on gang, we lost the element of surprise, let's just get 'em tomorrow.

[Blitza open the portal]

Moxxie: You got it, ma'am. Wooooah- let's go, Millie!

[Millie and Moxxie go through the portal. Jack dives through it. Blitza tries to run away but trip over a goat. Blitza fires her gun causing the outhouse to blow up, as she tries to jump to the portal she gets hit by a goat, knocking her out. She waves up to find herself locked in a cage and in a chupacabra suit]

Blitza: What the... efff?

Gerardo: Vengan todos! (Come one, come all!) Señoras y Señores! (Ladies and gentleman!) Pásenle, pásenle! (Step right up, step right up!) ¡Vengan a ver un AUTÉNTICO Chupacabra! (Come and see an AUTHENTIC Chupacabra!) Only a hundred pesos! To see a real chupacabras caught by ME last night.

Blitza: A chupa what!? Look buddy, I'll have you know that I am a dignified-

Gerardo: No hablo Inglés.