I Will [Paul McCartney/Beatles Fanfiction]

sixteen

"I just didn't think it would hurt so terribly, you know?"

"Well, I certainly don't blame you. It doesn't matter that they don't have a physical effect, words still hurt, especially coming from someone you thought cared about you deeply."

Carmen sniffed as she leaned against the inside walls of the phone booth, clutching the phone itself tightly within her grasp. After running out of Paul's room, she figured that someone would come looking for her and knew they'd find her relatively quickly if she'd gone back to her own room, and so because she wanted some alone time, she understood that wasn't an option, so rather, she ran out of the hotel in its entirety and down a few obscure streets before working her way onto the end of one of the main roads to find a place she could call the one person that, despite their differences, she knew she could lean on during hard times in her life.

"It's not just that I thought he cared, it's that I trusted him, too. At least in one sense of the word. Like... I feel I could trust him with my secrets, but I wouldn't know if his response would be truthful or not. But now I guess it doesn't matter anyway, because he thinks I don't trust him at all."

"You didn't object when he accused you of not trusting him?"

"I wanted to, Carl, but I couldn't bring myself to! I thought he was...reprimanding me for things I did wrong that he had no right to reprimand me for, so rather than letting him know that he was wrong, I went with reminding him that he's not so picture-perfect, either."

Carlton sighed. "And then?"

"And then he... He... Made that one comment I was telling you about. That he realized why I can't seem to keep my heart from being...destroyed. I saw it in that moment, Carl. He doesn't really care about me. And that made everything so much worse. I... I was overwhelmed. Couldn't let myself do anything but run away."

He was quiet for a moment. "Are you okay, Carmen?"

"No, I'm completely fine," she responded sarcastically. "I mean, it's not that my heart just shattered or anything."

"I don't mean I'm expecting you to be completely fine, but I just... You've never gotten so worked up over a boy before, and it's got me kind of worried."

It wasn't often that Carlton admitted to feeling things like fear, sadness, or worry because he thought it would make him look weak if he did, so hearing him say the words "it's got me kind of worried" directly to her without a trace of shame in his voice took his sister off guard.

He noticed this, and laughed lightly, "So now you know I'm serious, I'm guessing?"

"Wow."

"Yes?"

"Yeah." After a pause, Carmen added, "Did you meet a girl or something?"

Even without seeing him, she knew her brother's face had grown red. "What? What gave you that idea?"

"You seem...softer."

"...So what if I did?"

"Oh, Carl, good for you! Now I don't have to pass along Mum's message of wanting you to get going with the whole dating thing. Even though I just did anyway."

She knew his face was the color of a tomato.

When Carmen realized that she was smiling, she said, "But I think I'm fine, Carl, yeah. Just... A little upset."

"Do you want to come back to London?"

"I don't know. I think I'm okay, but I don't want to see Paul, but it'll be inevitable if I go back, but I don't even know if I remember how to get back anyway -- I'm in a phone booth, and I want to meet your girlfriend, but I think I can make it through the last few shows and I don't want to just leave now, especially since I've become so close with everyone, but... I don't know."