Grapes Upside Down

44. Champagne (Madisen)

~Madisen~

"I've got news," Ignacio hums in my ear as we wait in line for our chamomile tea.

I turn to him, my hormones going haywire over the vocal vibrations at my ear, his breath on my neck.

"Yesenia found a place to stay."

The fact that he's as anxious for her to move out as I am further assuages my initial jealousy over their living arrangement. I realized it's hypocritical to fret over Yesenia having feelings for Ignacio when I'm living with Noah, so I have tried to be patient and not bring it up for the past several weeks.

Ignacio is so transparent about his love for me that it doesn't cross my mind to be concerned over him being tempted by Yesenia. When we're together, I feel the intensity of our connection in a way that leaves no room for doubt.

At the same time, I'd be lying if I refused to admit that I still harbor a residual crush on Noah. That fleeting little flutter of attraction when I see him around the house. The warmth that spreads through me when I catch him smirking over something I've said at the dinner table.

And then there was our moment at the beach today, when he hugged me and admitted he's still in love with me. A tiny flicker of something I can't find a word for flashed through me when Noah acted as though he wanted to put his hands in my dress to "help" me pull out my phone. The scene was light, and I felt like a kid, messing around with another kid.

The person sidled up to me now, humming into my ear about who lives in his house, is a man. A man with whom I'm planning my future. I'm utterly wound up with Ignacio in a Chinese finger trap of love that I couldn't walk away from if I tried. Yet—and I'm a horrible person for this—there's a sliver of disappointment inside me over what I missed with Noah. A shake of dormant stardust settled at the bottom of my soul, of something unexplored. Like I've stretched my leg up three steps of the spiral staircase, skipping a phase of carefree youth, straight into adulthood.

"Are you back on speaking terms with Josiah?"

Ignacio's answer is vague enough that I don't press it; he's obviously still upset over the altercation from our last time hanging out.

My mind fast-forwards in a moment of horizontal vertigo. I've got one more year at university; will Clara, Noah and I remain friends, given that Ignacio isn't crazy about them? Will Noah want anything to do with me once we aren't living together?

"My friends invited us out tonight," I venture tentatively as we settle with legs intertwined into a small corner booth, warming our hands against the smooth ceramic of the steaming tea mugs. "But, no, right?"

"Which friends?" The accusatory tone in his voice doesn't escape me, or perhaps I'm paranoid.

"From Aventuras Chile. They're all going out--Daria... I'm not sure who all will be there." I hold Clara's name on my tongue, fearing it will trigger a mood I want to avoid.

"Aw, I miss Daria!" His jocular tone softens my defenses, and my tense shoulders relax against him. He doesn't hate everyone; he's merely very particular about the type of person he wants to interact with. Given his life history, I don't blame him.

"Should we go?" I would love to meet Emiliano. It would give Ignacio another chance to get to know Clara.

"Who else will be there?"

"Not sure... everyone from the cohort, I'm guessing."

"You know who I'm asking about." The subtle agitation in his voice sinks into my stomach as a deep, physical cramping.

"Noah?"

"And Clara."

I'm about to launch into the same argument we had weeks ago, where I tried to convince him that my friends are good people who are important to me. Armed with a dozen more anecdotes of evidence, my mouth opens, then clamps shut again.