What If...? Rumlow Turned Against Hydra: Book One

30

He was the one the others were sure would try and stop the plans. Not the plan to rescue Steve or fight Hydra in general. It was the plan to go further than he thought was possible, using hijacked Chinese military equipment to launch missiles. The missiles would be powerful, one step short of catastrophic only because of the lack of nuclear warheads. The missiles the Winter Soldier intended to use were ones intended specifically for mass casualties as well as the most destruction to infrastructure. The targets for the missiles would include people who were true believers in Hydra, along with those who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. There may even be civilian bystanders killed. The possibility of that was why Rumlow and Romanov had looked at him, half curious, half pitying. Barnes of course only studied him, evaluating whether Sam would be able to continue in the mission the way he was running it. As if Sam had any particular choice in that.

It was the realization that he was Steve's proxy that made him pause. The very idea was strange: that he could be the one to be like Captain America. It was flattering, that was true, he was not immune to that, but it also introduced another burden that was nearly crushing in its weight. He was the one most like Steve, if Bucky was to be believed, and if Steve couldn't be rescued for whatever reason, it was Sam who would be expected to carry that mantel, even if it was unofficial. That was too much for Sam. He was a soldier, he always tried to do the right thing, but he was no symbol like Captain America, he was no Steve Rogers. He began to wonder if Bucky was in his right mind, whether that mind was in fact Bucky or the Winter Soldier.

Sam wanted not just to rescue Steve and completely destroy Hydra, he wanted desperately to talk to Steve. He wanted to find out if he should have misgivings, when he really didn't have many. The fight they were in was brutal already, with the enemy dealing in not only some death, but torture, mind control along with the eventual capacity to murder millions with the flick of a switch. The potential for collateral damage did bother him. He didn't want bystanders killed, not when the entire point was to allow the world's population to live free of Hydra's twisted ideals. He also didn't want potential allies killed at the Triskelion in missile strikes. That was likely since they still didn't know exactly how many in SHIELD were also Hydra.

"If you have more concerns, you can speak up," Romanov told him. It was clear she had been looking for him. It was aggravating at first, when what he wanted was to be able to think in peace. She looked concerned, which was slightly comforting, though that also annoyed him. "I know this can't sit right with you."
He thought for a moment before replying. "Does it sit right with you?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

He chuckled quietly. "And that did not answer my question."

"No, it didn't." She smiled at him. "But you didn't answer mine either."

"I won't lie and say I'm completely fine with all of it. I don't like the possibility of innocent bystanders being annihilated by a missile strike. I wish we knew who we could trust in SHIELD, but we have to try and cripple Hydra, along with rescuing Steve. I get how these things work."

She nodded. "It is extreme, but it's also logical and efficient. I can get behind that."

"So why do I think you do have a problem with it?"

"I don't have a problem with any of it, I understand it completely. I guess my problem is my lack of problem."

"I think I get where you're going with this," Sam said thoughtfully. "So, you're trying not to be the KGB assassin that was recruited into SHIELD. You want to atone for things you've done."

"I have red in my ledger," she said quietly. Sam nodded his understanding.

"Exactly. Being an Avenger does help, but that isn't a full-time job. In the meantime, you work for SHIELD but turns out they're Hydra so the stuff you did with them could possibly be serving Hydra's agenda."