What If...? Rumlow Turned Against Hydra: Book One

2

No one looked happy in spite of the fact many of them had been waiting for what would be happening soon. The expressions among the STRIKE team were tense, the room unusually quiet as they were focusing on what gear they would need on an unprecedented mission within the Triskelion, SHIELD headquarters. It was the target that made it more unusual, resulting in the tension: Steve Rogers. Rumlow could practically taste the anxiety in the air as he watched some members of his team looking positively ashen faced. That was a healthy response in his opinion. All of them had seen what Rogers could do in the last two years of his work with SHIELD. All of them knew what Rogers had done during the Battle of New York, mere weeks after he'd been brought out of the ice. Even with numbers on their side, none of them could afford to assume they'd be victorious.

Rumlow himself tried not to think about the fact that he was desperately hoping Rogers' conversation with Pierce would go their way, with Rogers being brought into the fold as a member of Hydra. Then the confrontation wouldn't have to take place allowing all of them to go back to their regular jobs, at least until Project Insight was complete. Only then could Hydra assume their place openly as the only way the world could experience security and real peace. That would have been the reason he told anyone who asked, but no one asked, so he didn't say anything as they waited to be told where they needed to be. He tried to ignore the real reason he didn't want to have to face Rogers, a reason that meant he was wavering in everything he thought he believed in. Rumlow didn't want Rogers to join Hydra, he didn't want to have to try to detain Rogers on behalf of Hydra, he certainly didn't want to take any more drastic actions against the super soldier. Rumlow wanted Steve to do what he'd always done best: save the world by destroying Hydra, the organization that Rumlow had once been proud to serve.

It hadn't happened overnight. In the immediate aftermath of the Battle of New York, Steve had rather reluctantly accepted a position with SHIELD as a field agent sent on missions. As predicted, he ended up working closely with the STRIKE team, more an enforcer than an agent causing Rumlow to work at hiding his resentment resulting from working with Captain America. On more than one occasion, he'd had to wrestle his desire to simply shoot Steve in the back, ridding Hydra of a potentially dangerous enemy. But he'd held himself in check, they worked together more and more often, until Rumlow understood he was looking forward to working with Steve. It had horrified him to find he was enjoying the missions where Steve was the one in charge; all of them went more smoothly. Rumlow found he respected the man he still saw as an enemy. That respect helped him to halt the urge to kill Steve out of hand. Later, as Rumlow saw just how human Steve was, in spite of the super soldier serum, not particularly happy with his position in SHIELD, or with Fury, Rumlow sympathized with him. They would talk, during the lulls before missions or after, though these conversations were often short, not particularly with any intense depth, Rumlow still could see Steve's conflicted misery in not knowing what he could offer.

Never once did Rumlow attempt to show Steve that Hydra was an option. It never crossed his mind to do so, and not simply because he hadn't been told to try. If asked at the time he would have been shocked by the idea; if he'd been able to be honest with himself, he would have told whoever had asked that he didn't want Steve in Hydra. Rumlow himself was wondering if he wanted to be in Hydra any longer. He'd once thought he had a purpose with Hydra, but increasingly, he wanted to have a real purpose. In seeing Steve's longing for a greater purpose as well, even if it meant fighting enemies for the rest of his life, Rumlow wanted to join him to find that purpose. Hydra was not only not the place to find any real purpose, but it was also anathema to everything Steve stood for. Rumlow finally admitted to himself that couldn't bear the idea that Captain America could be twisted like that.

He kept such ideas to himself, hoping that Steve would stumble on Hydra by himself and work to bring them down. It was cowardly, Rumlow knew it, but he had no idea how to actively take Hydra down himself. To try to do so would be a quicker form of suicide than putting a gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. Two years of an odd status quo passed as the world dealt with the idea not just of different superheroes, but the idea that threats to the very existence of humanity could emerge at any time, from anywhere. Finally, wrestling with what he wanted in life, Rumlow tried to forget about Hydra's push for world domination. It had taken decades to build themselves up, maybe they would need decades more to complete their plans. He could imagine he was really working with Captain America, really helping him, a trusted friend and colleague, rather than an enemy in disguise.